with each line i write, i am exposing more and more of myself
with each verse, you can watch as the veil covering me slowly ascends,

nanometer by nanometer

but this is only accurate if what i am writing is the truth,
which can never be so,
for it can only be my truth,
my truth is malleable
and subject to the emotions within me at any given time
it's not that i am dishonest, but at times, i loathe reality,
and occasionally, i will rewrite my own history
in a way that i see fit
in a way that can portray a situation, a moment, a feeling
the way it should be portrayed,
the way that i remember it

all that i want and all that i truly need
is to be reawakened
for things to be the way they once were
i try hard as **** to not dwell on the past
it's such a bright place that i don't want to leave,
but i should because it missed its chance to grow with me
it has faded and become lazy,
only showing itself in dim flickers that hold the heat of a single match
when it used to be a steady glow that surrounded me always
i need you to help it catch up to me
bring back your light, your tenderness and laughter
because i've grown so dark and hardened
to the point where i am contained inside a thick shell
i used to be able to break out and shake off the pieces easily,
but layers keep accumulating
and i feel cold as a stone in the bed of a river
only something as forceful as a chisel and hammer could free me,
but that's not enough
only something as warm as the way things were could melt me
but most of all, i need to know that you need this too
i've been dying to reach you