Lately
I’ve been looking for holes in our history books
The cause and effect that we missed
Like we missed each other
When we were sixteen and fighting.
The good news is that you’ve got big plans.
The bad news is that I can’t decide
What songs I want played at my funeral.
Take me back in time
To where we used to wait
With arms wide open
So I can try to convince myself
That you aren’t my favorite thing
I’ve got better things to do
Than remember everything about you

I need to run, I need to hide
I’ll take a train, or a bumpy bus ride

A plane would get me further away from my life
A one-way ticket sounds about right

There’s nothing left here for me
Far away is where I want to be

Let me go free and spread my wings
To see what the next chapter of my life will bring

Don’t get involved with a married man
It’s nothing but trouble
I know this firsthand

They will take your heart
And squeeze it dry
Silence every last beat
And leave you to die

He says you’re the best
Isn’t this fun?
Then goes home to his wife
How was your day hon?

A liar and a cheat
Not true to either one
Does he really think we’re all having fun?

Who has it worst?
Me or her
I get 30 minutes
She gets the fur

I want to run as fast as I can
To get far away from here
Far away from that man

Wings on my feet
I’d fly like a bird
Sweeping the streets
Soft footsteps never heard

I’ll keep running forever
Far away from his touch
I’ll never look back
I’ve been through too much

I’m too tired to be mad
I’m too angry to be sad

Where does that leave me?
Alone and confused
Nothing to live for, just a bottle of *****

If anger doesn’t **** me
Sadness surely will
Time to give up, grab that bottle of pills

I finally wake up in the drab familiar room
Not the first time here, I’ve returned to my doom

I can barely breathe, and I cannot move
All I can see is a tangled web of tubes

Keeping me alive
I wonder what for
Someone had found me
Face down on the floor

I’ll eventually get out of this place
Back to my life, it’s too much to face

It’s time I leave this empty shell
I need to get out of this endless hell

Next time I will get it right
I’m waiting to embrace that soothing bright light

Does anyone care what happens to me?
It surely doesn’t seem to be
I’ve opened my heart
Given my love
Only to be thrown away
Like a ***** old glove

Am I invisible?
Does anyone care?
Would they take notice?
If I colored my hair

I’m just another face in the crowd
Tears swelling up
My brain screaming loud

Does any of this matter
Waking up every day?
I’m ready to leave
God take me away

We work, we die
I look to the clouds and cry
I only long for peace and joy
They are nowhere in site
So what’s my next ploy?

I really don’t ask for much
All my plans are turning to mush
Doom and gloom is all I see
No knight in shining armor to come rescue me

I made my choices
Not all good ones I admit
But I’ve been trying so hard
I haven’t yet quit

So why is life so unfair?
Almost too much to bear
On foot in front of the other
And here I go again
Hoping for something wonderful
Around the next bend

FADED

Long enough to endure this pain
My sleeves corroded by this heavy rain
I stand steady on this unending road
I won’t last long before I cave
With this shattered heart I am a slave.

Craving to grip his arm
Strolling through the shadows of no shame
His voice is the sound left in my ears
I will sink in my own treading tears
I will Praise the light of the last dawn.

I have sipped the deadly passions
Leaving the empty bottles on the lonely table
For his words enveloped all my doubts
His eyes untied the rope of my strength
Our love is a glass on the edge of the table.

The night covers the sky
The moon shines back on our faded faces
Sitting in the corners instead of centers
Pulling out all the grief
Letting the lenient wind sweep away the tears

Before the sun rises
I dearth to inhale the aroma of a red rose
Exhaling the odor of the smoke of burnt letters
For eternity he will be the music to my soul
The reason of my last drop of tears