Time outstretched its callous fingers
And reclaimed my summer bouquet,
While Death's apprentice stands close by,
Waiting for his cue in this play

The hour has grown late -  so be it -
What matters one more reckless choice?
Though eyes grow dim, yet my ears strain
To hear Love's long-awaited voice

My door now opens to strangers,
(I'm not concerned with their intent)
A daring stance now pays my way,
The coins of youth having been spent

And what of love, that elusive dream
That taunts my heart mercilessly?
This consoling thought I proffer:
Keep faith, dear heart, it yet may be!

And perhaps on some moonlit night,
With his arms clasped tightly 'round me
My love and I will speak with joy
Of that winter night he found me

Watching tender blossoms open,
Though a frost lay thick on the bower,
How we'll  bless that borrowed sunshine
Love granted in our winter hour!

But should this never come to pass,
Who is there to blame for my plight?
Just a fool in her loneliness
Who dared to dream on a winter night

Memories come upon one
Like a sneaker wave
Dragging you under
And up into the spin cycle

Many moments
Many names
Many times through memories
Unchanged

The deepest loves
The most painful hurts
Never to be unchained

Emotional visions
Briefly three dimensional
And rushing back out
Into the riptides of
unconscious seas

It gives one pause
To remember
And believe
it really
Happened to me.

then we die death stands at the end
for everthing all
ten walls high no going around
over nor under
no wealth stops
no tunnel under
we face it
eventually
I am scared
not of my death
but losing those I care for
to that eventuality
so I run

fast and hard and one day
it will catch up to me

Your face was in my dream again last night.
I'm not sure when I can expect this to stop happening.
This subconscious need is becoming habitual,
Almost as frequently as the conscious one,
Like all the times your name appears in my search history.
Not that I can see anything,
Not that anything I can imagine
Is an active representation of who you are now,
But because somewhere, despite all my exhausted efforts
My heart is still playing out our story.
My heart still fights with the endings,
So it makes up new ones,
Spins images into happier realities.

The way you left
Was more than I ever needed to know.
Ammunition enough to baracade myself from you
For eternity
And more.
So why does my heart still act like a bird
I've locked in a cage,
Stolen from its home.
Relentlessly whispering
That one day it will escape,
Find it's way back to you.

I know.
I know it feels like your body is disintegrating,
How it aches in places you didn't even know existed;
That you want nothing more than to rid yourself of this skin that burns with loss in every fragile movement.
Your heart and mind are betraying you.
Bones incapable of carrying around this
Palpable heartbreak.
The infrastructure
Of everything you had carefully built
Shattered beneath your feet.
I know it seems like the walls are closing in,
Cornering you,
Suffocating every airway
Until you cannot see tomorrow through the darkness.

Darling
Be patient,
I promise you'll find seeds of recovery amongst the rubble -
Your stems of self worth were never rooted
in anyone's actions but your own,
Your flowers never fed by anything but love for yourself.
Your crushed spirit will break through
These confines of hopelessness
To blossom, once more.
Nurture your growth
And protect it like a diamond;
Cover it in gold.
For you will never own anything more precious than this existence.
You have all the minerals you have ever needed
right there inside of you,
Blood flowing like lava,
Fire burning through your veins since the day that you were born,
Strength emanating from your core.

I know.
I know you're struggling to find the light
But in this darkness you begin your healing.
Remember all that you are
And all that you have been through.
You are loved in ways you can't even imagine
And will grow to love, once more.

Darling
Be patient,
For you are as tenacious as the sun,
And every sun will rise again.