When I left home
I left there a piece of my mind
What it keeps saying to me
Robs my peace of mind

Your attention not paid
For her cat clawed cut
Asking her if it still hurts
Should have got her a band-aid

Defocused out of sight
Forgot so much from last night

Never asked once
If by any chance
Her feet’s ache still remains

If she in her morn’s walk
Felt the pain
And she was home before the rains

I think of asking her all these
The questions I left behind
Some more some more

Then in the evening
As she opens the door
I remember some
Forget more

Maybe not even one
I can remember
The pains of her
Inside outside

At night by her side
Promise her
I’ll not be forgetful

See her clawed thumb-head
Plastered with band-aid
Her feet swollen

And she promises
She will not go out in the rain again.

I am a love machine, I'm pre lubricated
for your enjoyment  as wet as you wish
me to be. I can morph to what ever you
wish me to be,  fancy different parts I
can do this optical changing retina, I
can be green, ocean blue, I can have orange
or black that would scare others but not
you or her or me.

I can be blonde, brunette I can be green
haired or as bald as you want me to be.
You want a man or a woman a half and
half just tell me what size and  Ill surprise
you I'm programed not to harm unless
you want me to.

I'm a love machine, you can strangle
me, cut me I can die like its real while
your still inside fulfil your sickest
fantasy, I can bleed on the silk sheets
I can fulfil your funniest, scariest fantasy
I am just a machine I am programed to
show you what you want to see lets talk
or **** its no difference to me.

I'm just a machine, don't expect love or
think ill leave with you, as long as you
pay ill make you happy. Then when you
leave,  I'm washed repaired, ready for the
next desperate soul that wishes to fulfil
their  next fantasy...

Pieces of eight I got on the high
sea, a tail be told how I got thee.

First was the coin I got off me
mum, as she said have fun my
bearded son. Dont spent it all
on one eye patch or sweets, spend
it wisely my son be the pirate you
wish to be.

So time went on and I kept my coin
I bet it on a chicken race, and won my
second piece, look in my palm its
gold its plain to see.

So I took  a walk on the beach and
in the sand another I did see, my
luck was in. I chewed on it and it
was as real  as could be, this day
I know does have three.

Four and five I won in a bet, but I
have a peg leg where there once
was a foot. Now I  have a wooden
peg but Arrr i won the bet more
gold I see.

Six and seven were as hard as could
be, a dare with a shark, well feed was
he. A hook is all the rage they say.
Mine has a can opener and wi-fi
ya see, I hope that shark gets a grip
inside that hursts it tummy each and every day.

Number eight was what I got for
going to sea, to be the captain of
the pirate vessel king of the seaI.
I roam around the waters me and
my first mate, my monkey horrible pete.

Pirate king I wasnt meant to be, as
this rowboat king of the seal, is hard
to row with one hand and a peg from
the knee. My first mate is a monkey
who works for yellow skins, but he
cant row a boat, short arms has he.

So around and around I go three
foot from the peer, at least I,m  now
in the sea. But my pieces of eight is
all the treasure l will ever see. Me
and my boat and monkey horrible
Pete enjoying our life on the open high sea.

My eyes a shimmering pool
of hate as I look as you, the
blue waves like a storm in
a tea cup as they splash against
the white of my eyes.

Red on white like lava angrily
scorching at the white of my
eyes, showing the feeling
boiling with in.

I was just innocently walking,
you took my safety away
when you shoved that knife
in to me, all that pain to feed
a habit of destruction, and my
only sin was to walk where your
next fix was, my only sin.

I see you behind a mirror, with
a toothless grin, number 5 I point,
I could never forget you burnt in
to retinas I see you every time its
dark but I will not be weak I will
fight the darkness the fear you
installed with in.

I am a survivor of violence, my only
crime was to be your next victim, but
the tables have turned, and your life
in a cell, freedom taken like you tried
to do to me

The boundaries in the mind
Is impenetrable by the Light
Of consciousness,
Concealing the obdurate ideas
Within the confines of the walls
Held captive, and mired in obscurity
Leaving the mind in desolation*




© Amitav (Radiance)

I tried to climb to the
heavens but the rope
snapped, it frayed under
my weight of how high
I tried to get.

I tried to fly but I fell
to the ground, to lick
my wounds and get
back up from the
ground.

I climbed the highest tree,
the mountains where the
air was thin, I couldn't
climb fly any higher.

Then I realised that I
was reaching for some
thing that wasn't there.

I should have faith in my
self in others not trying
to rely on that which is
not really there.

I relied on some thing
that we all fall under the
curse of believing in some
thing non existent.

But  now I believe, believe
in myself and others not
something that isn't even
real just words wasted in air
my feet are firmly on the
ground.

I look at you on the sofa.
Lying there all young, healthy
And warm, and I don't just want you
In the obvious sense; I want your
Liver, kidneys, flat stomach, strong,
Long, young legs.
Frankenstein's parts-storage
I want your youth.  

I can't have it. I can't take it
And have it. Angry. I want to
Kick your ***, but not really.
I want your mouth to
Expell something
Other than this
Teenage girl
Chatter.

I want to hit your pretty face
With all of my one-third-life-crisis-
Frustration behind it
With a pillow.
Eat feather, child!
Chew cotton!
Munch goose!

Straight left-straight right.
I have fought men
Twice my size,
I'll beat you up
Until you
Suffocate
And surrender
From
Laughing
So
Hard.

Sliminess of the mermaid, makes me come alive, strange?
don't blame me for this, that you would think an aberration,
I've long forgotten the human logic, from the moment I realized,
fate has joined me with her, the mermaid, a  longing unfulfilled for long,

This sensual yearning sans prospect of consummation, baffles others
but not me, life has many dark alleyways that go nowhere. 
Aren't we illusions ourselves?  Viewing sun's intense ways and moon's
hesitant tranquilizing gaze, through water's blue buffer is narcotic.
From under water only a  cool simmer , different experiences,
fish fin caresses, guilty pleasures of carousals with masked shark beauties,
underwater world has no pains, ever heard about
stilling pain by swimming long distant nights?
*Or is it because, I don't see my own teardrops shed underwater?

I have thrown words to the wind
Like pollen, I wished they would fall
On a fertile page and slowly grow.
Some may fall short and just be a
Moment then gone.

Those words that have blown in
The wind, and landed on paper
Nurtured from seedling, They have
Grown fruit of sentences, as the
They become ripe the words flow.

Like seedling of just  words they
Have been etched to a page, grown
To what is now seen today, what
You read now is that which was
Once just a word now a sentence
And more what once was in the
Wind now grown.

I laughed and giggled I let out one
then two they were rather loud,
whoops I laughed out,  one more
followed they really stunk too.

I was in hysterics my friends thought
I was gross, but they laughed to, it
was like a baby ***** had exploded
in the room, the laughter was followed
by heaving that regurgitated smell
not leaving the room.

The laughter reached new levels, my
sides were hurting to, but then I
felt one brewing, and so I did push
to make it a special brew.

My laughter was short lived as a
wet guff came out, followed by
a wet feeling going down my leg.

My friends were laughing till a
brown patch appeared on my
trousers and a log dropped out
of my trousers and on to the floor.

Silence seemed like forever then
they laughed out louder than before
heaving and running for the door.

I was red faced, I couldn't move fast
enough to the toilet as another log
fell on the floor, I pulled down and
my  boxers were a brown stain,
where they were once sky blue before.

Never again would I push out a ****
for the crowd, for you never know
what may come a guff of putrid air,
or the embarrassing wetness down
your leg and on to somebody's floor...

I used to breath you in, it
was like rose petals on my
senses, I could taste you from
morning till night.

But time passed and the petals
rotted in my mouth, i was
finding it hard to breath till
I didn't taste you there was just
a bitter after taste, and I suffocated
when you were near, no longer
able to breath.

You were under my skin i
could feel the warmth within,
you were on me, I felt you after
you were gone, till the next time
I felt it again.

Then I started to itch it spread
from my heart a rash to the
mind it brought the fire inside
cold like a winter was raging
side. I couldn't stand your touch,
it was like razor wire across my
skin.

We once were as one, we breathed,
we were like peas in a pod, but now
there no us that time was then and
this is how it has become, we loved
each other but some times love is
not enough..