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 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I lay on the pyre
burning . . .
bleeding . . .
longing for my flesh to be finished
completely stripped away
Sometimes pouring is preceded by drilling
And joy so thrilling interspersed by lengths of crying
burning . . .
bleeding . . .
whispering away the trauma of old or newer lies
my Lover hears my cries
and calls me on to sing it all
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
Lately I've been thinking of
dipping myself in paint and throwing myself on a canvas
Every epithelial particle leaving its own mark
But I cannot place my every cell in colors
for most lie underneath my skin and in the dark

Lately I've been thinking of writing out all the words I know
the ones better than "thing"
shocking sentiment in shaking sentences
But I cannot write forever to encompass my whole being

No splash of colors can express me . . .
No never ending line of diction could . . .
Make Me Known

Was there ever an instant in time
When I wasn't in your mind?
Every piece of DNA and RNA
In full breath and 3D meaning
Along with every word I speak?
Did you think of me
at the parting of the Red Sea?
When everyone thinks You would have been preoccupied
Am I in Your every moment
My blue and purple hues stretching further than a canvas of the sky?
if there are moments for You
El Roi!
The God Who Sees Me
I am ever in Your sights
You smile with each sigh
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
and again your warm arms
lift me up
Though I was cast upon the wintry ground
My bones cried out
and my miserable tears poured down
Again
Your warm arms
lift me up
To God
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I cannot see what lies in front
the hill I march upon is steep
(though not the sheer before)
All I know:
I've moved ahead a square
upon the Great Lord's board
A new rope is on my shoulder
Another stripe of gold
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
wondrous conundrum
perplexing sublimation
that as I build the fires in other's hearts
my own brightness grows
to unclothe for the naked
is to find ever increasing layers on my skin
Giving out gold
only to find my glinting hands fuller
Placing rubies in my sister's crown
and finding my own circlet more heavy
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
Have you ever held the hand
of a man who worked for a living?
A construction worker
A carpenter
A tower repair man?
That’s what my God’s hands are like
Capable
Strong
Warm and
Ever-ready
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
it’s tears and weeping
groaning struggles
that tear down what keeps us from you
Only pain can take us
teach us to enter
Your spirit dimension
the waters of suffering
wash the ***** windows of our eyes
grimed from day to day lies
We can’t keep the dirt from building up
until pain teaches us to cry
cry quickly
to wash it all away in honesty
And in that moment we catch clearer glimpses of You
Slowly memorizing Your form and face
until we can trust
even when our eyes are closed and grimed
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
You cannot hunger and thirst for righteousness
until you have hungered and thirsted
To gain in spirit is to lose in flesh
No one learns a deep lesson from a place of comfort
Deuteronomy 8:2-3, Matthew 4
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I wash your feet with my tears
bringing every overflow of my heart to You
I do not have to turn away
or hide my face in wait for composure
You ask to see it all
so I place my present in Your presence
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I’m in your sights
Always
and not a single part of me goes unloved
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I was born on the outside
raised by ones who some might call commoners
But a different song sang through their blood
I was born as an outcast
rescued from the cruel
I was taught adoption is a way of life
For those cradled in the arms of the world
Drink all they want from her breast
They do not ask for my love
It is only the outcasts
who see my open arms as a balmy haven
and come to rest
Away from Windy earth for a moment
Come
And I will love You
You need only to ask
You need only to stay
And I will share my bread with you
a meal for one
becomes more when stretched for two
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
It is agony to die, to live in death
to wait as He says wait
to breathe as He says breathe
to rise as He says rise
It is Joy to be lifted up!
But achingly
so slowly
as He shakes away the dust
and grave clothes
 Oct 2019
Elioinai
I am a bright light
and I defy all walls and prisons
With Holy Fire
I devour boxes like paper shreds
but I’ve just begun to burn
and I’m only an ember compared to my future
A Roaring Burning
I will not hide the glory of the One inside me
Like oxygen and diesel
it is He who feeds me
I am but the pottery that must crumble away
until I am a skeleton lampstand
Leaving a Naked Flame
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