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 Sep 2017
Latiaaa
Love just got in the way that night.
Wasn't supposed to happen like that.
I was hurt.
You were hurt.
I looked at the lit night,
Running my fingers across your skin,
Wondering why in the hell am I doing this.
Why did we do this...
How can something so sinfully wrong,
Feels so ******* good.
Twice that night.
I didn't care what my morals were for that hour and 32mins.
That night I left I pondered on my actions.
What we did was morally wrong,
But love just got in the way.
Let us vow to only us knowing what went down,
But not let it be spoken upon.
 Sep 2017
Latiaaa
He threw a plate across the kitchen,
Almost hitting me.
Shattering into two and an indentation on the wooden cabinet.
Why are you so angry at me?
He cried.
I cried.
Love Hurts.
 Sep 2017
Latiaaa
My knees buckled.
From what I remember, I tasted gravel and blood on ma bottom lip.
My eye seen dim, swollen shut wit a touch of blue-ish black-ish.
“I says—now I says get up off the ****** ground, you ******!”
Still ma knees were down, deep into da’ dirt—rocks n’ pebbles prints engraved onto ma flesh.
I tries to stand, but that ole hearty bullwhip beat me to it,
And this time I was chest down.
My coughin’ of da blood only made him mo’ wicked n happy.
I’d be ****** if he slashed me once mo'.
I swore I’d be ******.
With one turn on ma back, every pebble, rock, soot sunk into ma gashes.
Blood n dirt don’t mix.
I swore I seen the pasty devil as I gazed wit only one good eye.
“You’s best get up foe I kills you wit no mercy!”
“**** me,” I said, “**** me, I’d be dammed.”
That ole pasty devil raised that bullwhip,
Right befoe he came down on me, I done grabbed his wrist wit all ma might.
Pasty devil was mo’ pasty than ever.
I stood wit what strength I had an pushed ole man back on his back.
Fumbled in dat gravel.
The bullwhip had done rolled out his hand.
“I swears to you—******—u grab dat bullwhip its ya life!”
I grabbed dat bullwhip and done gave him gashes dat looked like mine.
Stumblin’ wit a burnin back,
I beat him good.
“Take ma life. I’d be dammed.”
 Aug 2017
Kagami
In one summer, I've become an alcoholic. I've become a reckless shadow of myself.
In one summer I caused the love of my life to distrust me. I showed him my weaknesses and he refused to forgive.
In one summer, I've proven to myself that I'm not strong enough to live. The once terrifying vision of a starile hospital ward seems welcoming now.
In one summer I've managed to convince myself I have nothing left.
she runs up to her room and shuts the door.
she cries blood and tears
because home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she's no longer yelled at to do chores,
something her mother used to do to her,
but without it home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she finds her father's jokes a bore,
and though he tries, she doesn't laugh
because home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she has anxiety that shakes her to the core
and she fears it's getting worse
because home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she's always in her room because she feels ignored.
without her mother there to keep her company,
home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she's fallen hard for a girl she adores
and the rejection by her father when she told him
made her realize that home doesn't feel like home anymore.

she feels lost, sees nothing more to live for.
you can try convincing her, but it probably won't work
because home doesn't feel like home anymore.
 Jun 2017
Latiaaa
Cocoa coffee.
Brunet,
Dusky.
 
My skin devours the sun.
I glow.
 
My skin was once a barricade,
I couldn't do much with it.
 
My skin was lynched, blistered, hosed.
 
Annihilated.
 
My skin disassociated who I wanted to be friends with,
Taboo places I wanted to fall in with.
 
Banished where to sit,
walk,
ride,
play.
Illegalized my freedom of speech.
 
My skin grew and grew and grew.
 
Broaden all over,
Creating role models that stand before me now.
 
Underneath all tarnished wounds,
I glow.
 
Chocolate chestnut.
Auburn,
Melanin.
 
My skin is sweet like Apple pie,
Ripe and enriched with knowledge.
 
My skin is coated with a honey glazed shield of righteous pride.
Embedded with the most exquisite fine wisdom.
 
I’m fine wine.
 
 
They say black is deliberately harmful
Boding ill
Soiled-stained with dirt
Grotesque
Illegal.
 
But what they don't know is that
Black goes with everything.
 Jun 2017
Latiaaa
I sometimes think of what could’ve been or what needs to be.
I fight with what battle scars and a chipped tooth,
Nose bleed and churned stomach.
I overthink the unthinkable thoughts that think they’re slick but thought wrong.
We sometimes ******* false words or ideas that never play through.
My porcelain fingertips bursts as I try to touch within you.
Cold as a throat,
Hot as my heart.
Annoyed with the constant bleeding and choking.
You give me hot buttered love,
Melting me like m&ms in a fat girl’s pocket.
My heart’s been played more than an Al Green record at a fish fry.
 May 2017
Cyrille Octaviano
I could no longer make a poem
For my mind has gone silent
Tried to swallow, choked on words
How pitifully malevolent.

I see my reflection in the mirror
But that wasn't really me
I see pain behind the smile
But the eyes were filled with glee.

Red was the color–
Of the stain on her cheeks
Blue was once the sky
But now it all can't be fixed.

I could not understand
How quick it was to change
But it wasn't entirely true...
Still see me within your range?

I may be what I appear to be
But deep within, I'm scared
Please hold me, don't let go
For all the memories that we shared

I can't assure that I could stay
But I'll still be right here
This love could only grow
Even if I disappear.

Thank you, I'm sorry
This won't be goodbye...
I guess I finally made a poem
And no, I won't say I'll die.
What else to say? Oh, yeah, Hi! :D

© Cyrille Octaviano
01/29/16
@ 8:43 am
 Apr 2017
Latiaaa
A person with intentions to love forever only deflowers.
I was wrong, I remember
Those nights, it was nothing but plum kisses from left to right
And your nose tickling my stomach.
Zestful.

All the blood would flow to my head.
Making me pink with ecstasy.
The nectarous smell of excretion fulfilled an image
And our fingers--- they would intertwine as if you felt I would slip away.
Sensational… amorous!

You would look me in the eyes, I would
look you in the eyes, a message would travel
this is more than just coition. Well in my
noggin I believed that. You wear a good look, callous.
I’ve been dumbfounded.

I look in the mirror. I am a stranger
To what I see. I now feel stripped
From my myself, your pupils have seen it all. You did this.
I feel disgusted, letting you dine
As if I was a restaurant. Twiddling and fumbling
As if you were blind and I was braille.

I now bathe in regret. Scrubbing
Till I can no longer feel your touch.
 Mar 2017
Latiaaa
You know it's time to leave when you know its time to leave.
 Mar 2017
Olivia L
The orange and blue flames of candlelight memories from birthdays come and gone illuminate brown stains from spilt ink and paper cuts on your family's hardwood desk.
The soft mahogany that carried the weight of library books with cracked bindings, that weathered broken glass, finger scratches and runny noses.
The writing table that saw crayons and watercolors fade into pen and ink and now your old pencil with the grooves worn down right where you're used to so you can hold it without cramps as you scrawl through notebook after notebook and bite your tongue.

You can't let the heat of words burn inside your throat as you sew your mouth shut with the red thread your mom used to patch your overalls with in fifth grade.
The sagging brown and blue jeans with baby yellow fabric covering that rip in the knee where the neighborhood boys pulled your ponytails and knocked you down.
When you felt your palms scrape against the concrete and you were finally enlightened to the fact that they don't tease because they like you, but because they like to see you in pain.

Never forget that morning when that pain finally ****** you off enough that when you rode your purple “girls bike” up to the rack before saying bye to your daddy you purposefully ran your back tire over a puddle to splash the group's new ninja turtle shoes.
The sneakers your neighbor had and you were jealous of because you wear a dress and he wouldn't let you borrow because they weren't gonna match, no matter if you were trying to climb the fence in his backyard and your bare feet got scraped in the end.
The stinging of the metal matches the stinging in your palms from being tripped and the stinging in your fingertips from the days of paper cuts from making collages on that old wood desk and you write.

You write loud enough that the scratching of your graphite on paper echoes around the room and you drown out slamming doors and harsh conversations.
Your fingers are as quick as the automatic whisk that you always turned up to high when your mommy would turn around, just so you could watch the cookie batter get just… too… close… to the edge of the bowl before shutting it off in the nick of time.
In a split second moment your lead breaks and you stare blankly at the scribbled mangled words that travel in circles around your book.

And the embarrassment and anger and understanding that this world's filled with ******* wells up behind your blank eyes and bubbles in between your teeth, seeping through the red thread.
It dribbles down your chin and creates a pool atop of the grey words the clear saliva of sadness eats away at the paper and wood like acid.
Imagine what it was doing to your stomach, but don't think too much about it, just pick up the safety scissors and ignore the ocean inside.

Those scissors aren't just for paper snowflakes anymore, they're not plastic in pretty colors, no now they're heavy and metal and cold in your hands.
They're built for adults, for greying and melting faces, for the weight of a world that ignores beautiful broken bottles on the sidewalk and walks by a cute cat,
Or says “It's Just A Girl Thing.”
Or “Boys Will Be Boys.”
And they make you wish you were back blowing bubbles in your treehouse as you sneak a juice box and pretending you're the  captain of a pirate ship.
Instead of sitting at this desk with a broken pencil and dripping face.
 Mar 2017
Latiaaa
Lying right beside me,
I can hear your heart force and tick out of your chest.
Tell me what you want from me.
You're disconnected,
yet you're lying right beside me.
Your eyes,
godforsaken dead.
Your smile,
dissolved.
Your soul,
died.
Your personality,
replaced with an inhumane.
I want to wake you, but I know if I do, you wont be the same.
So I let you lie right beside me.
Everything about you looks the same,
feels the same.
But once you awaken, you're not here anymore,
and you should be.
 Mar 2017
Latiaaa
I crush hard,
Let me admit that.
I try not to flounder on it,
Or procrastinate on it.
Nor do I want these feelings.
These feelings only lead me to destruction.
If my feelings do have a positivity on it,
I let them flourish.
I just go too deep in too soon.
Without having a caution sign.
I try to stay low.
Away from my feelings.
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