There are too many words to say.
What an idiot
I was for saying;

Nothing.

Hollow like the void that's grown between us.
Empty and broken.

A year and a half has passed.

The scenery changes
A new view
A new you
Cool breezes and a stiff drink
Every woman reminds you of her
There is no escaping the truth
A lie above all others
A heart ceased beating
Believing you never loved her
Too cool to care
Too weak to trust
A thousand miles in a new town
A new life
A new decade
And still
Every woman reminds you of her

THE WAY IN WHICH INSECURITY MAKES A HOME OF MY BODY,
LEAVING HER PILES OF SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY LYING ON THE FLOOR.
AS I CONTINUE TO STUMBLE AWAY FROM MIRRORS,
TRYING TO FIND A REFLECTION SHE HAS NOT BECOME A PART OF,
SHE REVEALS TO ME,
THAT THE MIRROR DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CRACKED IN ORDER FOR ME TO LOOK BROKEN.
I ASK HER WHY SHE HAS NOT MOVED OUT ALREADY,
AND SHE SAYS IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I ALWAYS LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN.
I TELL HER OF HOW I MISPLACED THE KEYS IN THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT LOVE ALL THAT I AM.
AND WITHOUT HESITATION,
SHE ASKS ME WHY I HAVE NOT YET CHANGED THE LOCKS.

When you left me
My friends gathered around.
Living without her won’t **** you.
They said.
But what won’t **** me
Aches day and night inside my chest.
What won’t **** me
Has tears running down my face.
What won’t **** me
Fills me with scars that never heal.
What won’t **** me
Makes me hide away from the world
What won’t **** me
Makes me want to **** myself.

The more I tried to not fall in love,
The more I fell in love with him.
I'm still a person,
And he's just my weak point.
He could destroy me if he wanted to.
Actually, I wouldn't mind being destroyed by him.
I love him too much to care about what he does to me.