The scenery changes
A new view
A new you
Cool breezes and a stiff drink
Every woman reminds you of her
There is no escaping the truth
A lie above all others
A heart ceased beating
Believing you never loved her
Too cool to care
Too weak to trust
A thousand miles in a new town
A new life
A new decade
And still
Every woman reminds you of her

THE WAY IN WHICH INSECURITY MAKES A HOME OF MY BODY,
LEAVING HER PILES OF SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY LYING ON THE FLOOR.
AS I CONTINUE TO STUMBLE AWAY FROM MIRRORS,
TRYING TO FIND A REFLECTION SHE HAS NOT BECOME A PART OF,
SHE REVEALS TO ME,
THAT THE MIRROR DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CRACKED IN ORDER FOR ME TO LOOK BROKEN.
I ASK HER WHY SHE HAS NOT MOVED OUT ALREADY,
AND SHE SAYS IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I ALWAYS LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN.
I TELL HER OF HOW I MISPLACED THE KEYS IN THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT LOVE ALL THAT I AM.
AND WITHOUT HESITATION,
SHE ASKS ME WHY I HAVE NOT YET CHANGED THE LOCKS.

When you left me
My friends gathered around.
Living without her won’t **** you.
They said.
But what won’t **** me
Aches day and night inside my chest.
What won’t **** me
Has tears running down my face.
What won’t **** me
Fills me with scars that never heal.
What won’t **** me
Makes me hide away from the world
What won’t **** me
Makes me want to **** myself.

The more I tried to not fall in love,
The more I fell in love with him.
I'm still a person,
And he's just my weak point.
He could destroy me if he wanted to.
Actually, I wouldn't mind being destroyed by him.
I love him too much to care about what he does to me.

What's peace anymore!
Men like killing, it makes them big bucks. Who needs peace

I found out today we don't always get what we expect
But we should expect to get things unexpectedly.

When
I'm at my emptiest,
I long to lose
Myself in physical
Ecstasy.
Desperate
yearning
extinguished
Through
flesh on flesh.
******* passion
Throats ripped,
Blood pours.
Devouring
your entirety
On a wave of
Nothingness.
I ache
to feel
Something.

One little cut across my precious skin

I feel the blood leaking out of me as it slides down my leg
I feel everything that has been bothering me drift away
As the first drop of blood touches the floor with this high I am experiencing

I make another cut

and another

and another

and another

and another

Until I am so cut up that I am numb
I can't feel anything and this is what I want
To not feel anything
To not have to deal with this pain that makes living so unbearable

But this

This habit in which I have developed is what keeps me going
If it wasn't for this addiction
this pleasure
this outside pain
this high
this coping mechanism
I would be dead
With cutting I cut to numb the pain inside
I cut to make sure that I am still alive

I cut

because this addiction is a secret in which no one else knows about

and I like it that way.

A good day for a walk and a good talk
No phone to speak and no television no more BROKE.
So off today to the new , ABC warehouse. A bomb television store down the road that catches any bored dudes attention