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Cassandra Sykes Mar 2015
Like the container you left in my kitchen when you forgot to say goodbye.
I stared at it and turned it over and over in my hands
As I packed to run away from your ghost.
I put it into the bottom of a box labeled “kitchen”
And I know its still sitting there, waiting for me,
For the day I eventually decided to unpack.

*3.5 years later
Cassandra Sykes Aug 2013
No amount of make-up
can erase the ugly
from my
insides.
Cassandra Sykes Apr 2013
All my insecurities
Could eat me
For breakfast.
Cassandra Sykes Apr 2013
I can taste happiness.
Its right there;
Teasing me.
Begging me to get,
Just a little bit closer.
Cassandra Sykes Jan 2013
Hollow like the void that's grown between us.
Empty and broken.

A year and a half has passed.
Cassandra Sykes Jan 2013
There are too many words to say.
What an idiot
I was for saying;

Nothing.
Cassandra Sykes Dec 2012
I turned love into the least important stop on my route.
I turned love into a duty that I never cared to complete.
Until that first night in our favourite bar, I'd cycled through person after person.
I ran as soon as I felt them feeling something for me.
But your body was my redemption;
Every freckle, every curve and every cell of you became a part of me.

The scent of your hair was intoxicating.
And I never found the words to tell you ,
That your kiss made me need to be a better person.
Your kiss made all the mistakes I made inconsequential.
In your mouth I tasted my future,
And in your body I tasted the person I was to become.

I haven't done a lot of things I'm proud of.
And my life is not what I'd expected it to be.
And the greatest love stories of all time cannot help me sum up
What it was like when you stole that first sober kiss
At the top of the stairs in my brand new apartment.
Its the love that let me go that I can't bring myself to let go of.

And there was that night you accidentally dyed your hair red.
Too much tequila made your face glow and you looked me in the eyes
And said that you felt ugly.
I laughed ad told you that even if all your hair fell out,
And I went blind you'd still be the most beautiful girl in the world.

I had made the assumption that when it was time for me to fall in love,
That I'd know exactly what to do and how to feel.
I'd never imagined that the silly nineteen-year-old girl that I kissed in too public of a place.
Would become the woman i loved and my private muse for years to come.  

And you were always a little too funny and a bit too loud,
And a lot less mature than we both are now.
I wanted to grow up with you and fall in love with you again 10 years down the road.
I wanted to cultivate a love with you that lasted through the cold winter months,
And years of parenting.
I wanted to rediscover our youth once the kids have grown.
And to kiss you on every continent.

Everything you say you feel for her is everything I've known I've felt for you for years.
So I never pushed my way back into your conscious thoughts.
I never begged to be a part of your life because poets are doomed to live tragically.
And I am ****** to live in the void your presence had left in its wake.

Now that you're gone I'm trying to jump back into my old cycle.
I'm trying to teach myself to fall again.
But everytime I kiss someone new, (it's only happened twice)
I can taste you.
You took everything wen you left.
I'm so used up I don't know if I have anything to give someone new.

You look older now and I've missed out on precious years.
Your name used to slip of my tongue like syrup that was a little too sweet.
I've been on a sugar high for a couple of years now.
Even though the way you left was more than a little bitter,
I can still taste honey when I speak your name.

You made love a 6 letter word.
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