Like a *****
Grinding into the depths of the left hand corner of my brain.
My left not yours.
Scrunched
Is all feeling
Like a piece of paper in a crumbly ball with the folds creased in.
Potentially waiting to see if I will be undone.
Unfolded and put out straight with rough hands that slide up and down my body to make me feel 'new' again.
Smoothing my corners that are twisted in little points with delicate fingers to attempt and make me soft again.
Looking me up and down.
Reading between the lines.
Closely examining my faded parts and dipping a pen, carefully slowly yet swiftly with a stroke of a wrist, filling me in.
Rewriting what has been written on me with a different hand. Shaking and nervous as you go over the closing of me,
the words that say 'love,' and pulling out your white out to brush off the name beneath those words.
And finally inscribe your own name over it.
Put the letter back into my brain and ***** me up again.

Why do I keep thinking of you

It doesn't matter anymore, I shouldn't like you

I hate you, yet for some reason thoughts of you lurk in my mind

We were friends, now what? Nothing?

What happened between us, only we know

Actually only you, I'm still confused

It wasn't that long

A summer wasted

I fell in a trap

Caught in what was seemingly untrue

And you.

What could possibly drift in your head?

Do you ever think of me, will you ever?

Everyone knows nothing

No one knows who you are exactly

What thoughts race through you

They don't understand you

Nether do I.

You told me, and I told you a lot.

You listened, you remembered even.

Now what?

Do you still ever think of me

Like I do of you?

I don't think you realize how many times I've been hurt.
Really hurt.
Like the first scrape of summer,
when you fall off your bike.
Until you've done it so much,
you feel numb.
You know the pain is still there.
You don't want to know though.
Toughing it out takes time.
There's no band-aid for the blood shed.
And no one to kiss it and make it better,
because it's not supposed to hurt anymore.
So you stand up the next time you fall,
bruised
torn
broken.
For everyone to see.
But can you really have bravery,
for ignoring the pain?

The world is swirling around me.
Spiraling.
No.
I am the one spinning. Dazed and dizzy.
Whispers of my name become louder until they reach the top of the crescendo.
From you.
This isn't a dream.
I wake up to see you next to me.
You laugh, smile and touch my nose with your finger.
Why is this the way it has to be?
I am hidden in your hurricane.
You call me when you want.
When you want to fall in love with me instead.
I listen because you take me out of the hurricane.
You find and pluck me out only to throw me back in
this twirling madness later.
I wish I controlled the weather.

Lost on a beach is where I'd want you to find me.

Walking alone, letting my heart beat it's own pace.

Smiling at the sun, you watch me.

Laughing as I trip in the sand.

Crying underneath the sound of the waves.

Would you hear me?