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 Feb 2018
victoria
Lost and broken

I’m porous,
I was born this way
You can drip your pain
deep through my skin

You can’t wash over me
I’m permeable
I draw you to me
I wish I didn’t know how

My heart is out on the street
Drenched with the pain of the lost and broken

I can’t shake you off
You run under my skin
You dance within my veins

The sadness is
that I need your pain to survive
I need to feel you
So I can’t feel myself
 Feb 2018
Mims
I am somewhere
Just left of breath
With winding trees
And knobby knees
And knuckle breaking
Soul punching
Regret
I am somewhere
East of guilt
North of normal
South of sensible
You were just west of everything I ever wanted

But alas I was never good with directions
And my maps are always upside down
Or I'm always in the wrong town
The map reads:


Lonely
Population: Me



I am never exactly where I want to be
Second star to the right and straight on till morning you traced the sky on me

My world was almost broken
When I found out i was nothing but a token rifle in a gun cabinet loaded with your lust for human decency

You never did find any in me

I guess we're even now

Because I've been doing a lot of that lately

Getting even
I just never thought you were competition
But you played these games
And you ran the race and I followed you
Blindly
I believed you were the one person
Who didn't wish me to be less of me

But there you go
Pining after me
After I've already told you
I will not kiss your ****** fists
And I ask you,

I ask you how your girlfriend is.

And the conversation ends.

Because you know what you're doing and I know what you're doing

And when the GPS said road work ahead

Because you are so broken,
And you refuse to stop choking
untrustworthy out of unknowing girls

I took the detour
Because I knew it
And you knew it too


I don't think I can be his friend

Conversation can't be innocent with you
"I can not be with you, or be just your friend
I love you to death but I just can't
I just can't pretend

Confidantes but never friends

Were we ever friends?"

You have fetishized rejection
And I am in no mood for entertaining
 Feb 2018
r
Most nights
I reach inside
my mind
trying to unwind
those thoughts
like twist-ties
that bind
to keep the loaves
of bread
free of mold
and fresh;
un-plan the long
planned plan
of mine
to choose the time
of my demise;
and sometimes
I try to listen
closely to
the constant ringing
in my ears,
the rhythmic singing
whine and changing
tones that turn
the sadness
churning, the waves
of emotions raging
in my ocean,
blue as the bottle
kept by my bed,
sleep my quest; sleep
eternal, the rest
of death I beg, leave
me alone, leave
me one more night
of breath to breathe.
 Feb 2018
r
If a person is quiet
enough inside,
they might just be
able to catch on to
the table of contents
of what it is
I’m trying to say, to
get to, to put away
before it's way
too late, and I don't
mean to
confuse you,
like before men
could speak,
they enjoyed confusing
one another
with signs,
they enjoyed this
as much as
a mirror enjoys
an image shine,
or the evening,
like a ship, enjoys
a sapphire grave,
but that's not what
I'm trying to do,
I only want you
to hear what I have
to say one more time,
just one more day
before it's weight
becomes way too great.
 Feb 2018
Sjr1000
Nature's code
No rosetta stone.

The blind men
The elephant.

In the mirror
I see your face,
you standing there,
depending on the lighting,
the mood of the day,
Aspects
I'm sure,
But knowing you?

While macro systems
control the tides
We're like sea grass growing
from the rocks
bombarded by the
waves
automatically
springing back up

There's probably
a pathway back
to when the meek
inherited the earth
and
bequeathed it

If we can ever figure it out again.

From darkness to darkness
it's a purple puzzle
mystery

All we're left with is,
Goodnight
Sweet dreams
Sleep tight.
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