Days like today bring me to reminisce,
of the life we shared, now an abyss.

Recent life has been testing,
this lonely Mother’s Day solidifies your resting.
Today it feels more like you were never here,
what type of life is it that I’m now investing?

Posed with the question of happiness.
what is this meaning without you?
living today admonishes the truth,
only former memories allow me your bliss.

Mixed feelings of love and hatred,
circumvent in this current conquest.
As I contemplate reaching out I'm reminded,
that your remains are all that is left.

Be at peace with the truth,
is the message you conveyed well.
I question God about this new reality,
a life filled with constant duality.

Your loss is permanent,
& recognizing this is pertinent.
This daily battle without you,
I cope because your gift of a DNA armament.

“Time brings perspective”,
were the words that escaped from your soul.
You are still my everything,
and today I escape into your memory.

People who do
horrible things
go to prison, get
put in cells,

                                        I’m
just wondering
what I did to
get put in the
cage that is
my mind,

                                        trapped
in an endless
cycle, a washing
machine of pain
and hurt tumbling

                                        inside
my head. I
don’t believe
that I’ve done
anything wrong, but

                                        my
prison suggests
otherwise, and
so do the voices
residing inside my

                                        head

Unblemished notions were
                          reflected inwards,
but inside they're contorted
beyond my perception of right.

I blemish this portrait of perfection
till only smudges gaze within my sight.

I was seven when I saw this light,
shining dimly through my bedroom window
Didn't seem much but that was my light,
My call, my way out
The light was my future yearning me to hold on
To stay
For one more day.

I was seventeen when I saw the light again
It shone brighter than before
and took a human form
Six foot tall, with bright blue eyes and brown wavy hair
With a cute smile and crooked teeth and when he spoke,
I swear I could melt
And when he touched, I was paralyzed with fright

My future's here, but will it stay?
Will it want me as I am, 'cause change doesn't accept me
Panic absorbs through my skin and freezes my bones

Can I make it?
The dim light is here now, shining brightly with opened arms
Should I stay?
Just one more day?