Heaving into the airless room of your heart
willingly, I sat on the bone-cold floor
subsisting on chaotic peeling inches of light
in the dimly lit corners of your diaphragm;
but I have grown old inside the succubus
stomach of these walls, and I am drowning
listening to you speak of your emptiness
as you bathe all around me
in the holy waters of narcissism
the cathedral of your sorrow eats
itself; I tethered a promise into the middle
of you, and I could yet spit at salvation
the lock on the door;
I could spit at salvation
but I have tethered a promise
deep as this imprisonment
masked as a woman.
into the middle of you
is where I am most alone.
my father is dying; of the many times
I chose to stay, this is not one
you have abandoned me within you for
the last time; I forgive
but you are not the god
Consumed and spit out many times
through the unlocked door of salvation,
the cathedral of your sorrow eats
what of myself I have cloistered there
not so I could be a sacrifice on your altar;
you are not the god of my promise to fill you
but my father is dying, and you are a prison
and heartbreak can funnel no love.
but a prison has become you.
I appreciated the slowly peeling inches
of dim light in your many hard corners,
growing old in the succubus of these walls,
drowning on the inside
listening to you speak of emptiness.
as you speak of empty
and I appreciated the peeling walls,
respecting
the dim light in the many hard corners;
but I have been growing old in this bitter love
where you say, and I listen of your empty
where I am prostrate, drowning in walls
so as to lessen the sting of your sequester
but I could fall through this door
you have opened; I could sink
without a struggle to our grave
where the cathedral of your emptiness
would truly become a skeleton
see, the sinew of it is not in self religion
but that love is the heartbeat.
too.
where I will no longer be stifled
in the asphyxiation of your self religion
breaks my hoard
but the anti-gift lies in my cloister,
and the world moves as I am misappreciated
and I listened to you tell me how empty
you are, and how you invite, but how
no-one comes
and I bathe in the bitterness, as well as
the love, because this is something which I
have promised
but I am drowning in a room,
a room that talks to me of walls
and of ceilings, and of floors
and of itself; but never of what is given
by not walking through the unlocked door
into a place where the cathedral
of your emptiness
may preach, aware, that the sinew
of love
is the soft aorta if you are the skeleton.
but the cathedral of you I will worship
even as I sever the love