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 Mar 2022
Katie
64
A cool number
Lots of opportunity
But I'm trying to write positively right now
And it's 1am
and I have nothing.

64 Zoo Lane is playing on repeat in my head.
64
 Mar 2022
Katie
Overdesign can **** a dream;
It's tearing my plot straight down the seam.
But it's okay to take a step back.
Maybe it is just focus I lack,
But I have more ideas.

And it's okay to work on something different.
63
 Mar 2022
Katie
You stand there, in front of us all,
Proud to be exactly who you are.
You never seem afraid of the fall
From such heights above me so far;
A horizon stretches out afore us both,
But there's only one hand reaching for it.
You've one in the hand of a romantic oath,
And I've tied mine away, deemed unfit
To ever hold another so close.
You open to a full sprint, chasing the sky,
Leaving me with the path I chose;
I never had that strength to fly so high.
62
 Mar 2022
Katie
Upon friendship's fields
A moment of ridicule
Makes my life worthwhile
61
 Feb 2022
Katie
Misery breaks for apathy,
As dwindling strings fray to nothing.
I sit, motionless, encouraging atrophy,
The desire o'ergrowing for an ending.
Twenty three long years amount to nought,
A botched birthing the height of success,
Even to the eye of astronomers who sought
To catalogue ev'ry star despite any duress
Have long since stopped scouring the sky;
My light was fading too long ago.
Opportunity is there, albeit twice shy,
But there's simply no interest to follow.
My life has been one of selfishness, sin,
Now isolation comes baring its toll.
That lifeforce that balanced on a rusted pin
Has resigned itself to topple and fall.

It's a lot of words to say one thing,
Empty drivel of a life unlived through,
But to shout the truth till I hear angels sing?
That's the one act I simply could never do.
60
A little early
 Feb 2022
Katie
"You don't need to worry so much"
Yeah I'm aware of that. That'll really calm me down.
I'm happy you rebooked that overdue meeting for me.
The panic of waiting was getting bad.
I haven't had an attack that bad in months.
But really.
******* Stephen.
59
I don't really think this is a poem, I just need to vent this panic attack somewhere now that it's dying down.
 Feb 2022
Katie
There's a girl in my mirror
And she cares about me.
Far more than I ever did myself.

Her eyes are as blue as the purest river,
And the light inside dances ever free.
She's happy, without love or wealth.

Her smile is as bright as a starlit sky,
She's beautiful, because she's happy,
Far happier than I've been myself.

And she's reaching a hand out, a little shy,
She wants me to take it and finally see,
That our happiness comes from ourself.

Because that girl in the mirror is me.
58
 Feb 2022
Katie
If only I could comfort you,
And be a shoulder to cry on.
If only I could be there for you,
And be a warmth you can rely on.
If only I could brighten the sky for you,
And become something you can depend on.

Alas, I cannot,
Seems I only know how to make it worse;
I simply cannot
Understand why you choose to keep this curse.
57
 Feb 2022
Katie
As long as I've breath in my lung,
I'll continue putting this pen to page.
Until my final word is sung,
I'll break down my metaphorical cage.

Even if it's small right now.
It'll keep me grounded.
56
I'm gonna keep going. Maybe that's wrong, but it's my answer.
 Feb 2022
Katie
I know not how to justify
Any concern my own life brings me.
Nothing I'm living through
Can top the horror that awaits.
I wished we were better than this
55
I might postpone these, I guess we'll see.
 Feb 2022
Katie
I crave that touch, akin to ice,
Prickling skin to skin, yours against mine,
The wind threatening to entice
As it blows past my hairline;

It carries your voice like an echo,
Akin more to souls upon the hills
Than this ghost that makes my heart beat so,
Compelling me to strengthen my wills.

But the dead must stay dead
And I cannot restore the soul I've shed
54
 Feb 2022
Katie
It's all I'll ever be;
The hairs I missed and the blood I drew,
It's the truth I wish I couldn't see.
It's pain to be replaced with pain anew,
An endless cycle, a nightmare,
Living as this creature, this mutt,
Consistently choking on rancid air,
Throttled in hemp I can't cut;
This hell will never end.
53
 Feb 2022
Katie
If I could choose to rewind time
I wouldn't fix a mistake or crime.
I'd spin one day around and know,
I need ne'er again fear tomorrow
52
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