falling in love
is a lot like dying slow
you won't realize it until you're ten feet underground

falling in love
is like going to see the sunset
but realizing the sunset lasts only 30 minutes in a day

falling in love
is like going up to the ice cream truck
after chasing it for blocks
and realizing they don't have your favorite flavor

falling in love
is like showing her off
to all your friends like you're back in school
and today's event is show-and-tell

falling in love
is like taking your first puff,
coughing it out
and revisiting it years later
like it never once left your body

falling in love
is seeing role models turn into humans,
and humans into role models.

falling in love
is like witnessing your first car crash
i guess it wasn't as exciting as it felt on tv.

falling in love
is going to your childhood park,
and realizing people never really go to parks anymore.

falling in love is remembering that kid who moved in grade three
who said they'd stay in touch,
but never heard from again.

falling in love is seeing that kid 10 years later
and dreaming of the next 10 years together

falling in love
is seeing them as a reflection of yourself
sprawled over the bed,
and wondering to yourself "****, what more could i ask?"

falling in love
is screaming PLEASE I WANT THIS TO LAST

LOVE
is seeing them hunched on a hospital bed,
hearing them say
"what life have we led?"

falling in love
is visiting their grave,
hearts broken and sore,
realizing

i don't want to fall in love
anymore

The snow falls
   Silent as ghosts
Remnants of distant memories
And I can see you in the flakes
   Pale and soft

You whisper to the sky
   The memories are shouting
And cry for forgiveness
Beg for destruction
   Remembering hurts the most

The snow doesn't stop
   Persistent, unforgiving
You wish for oblivion
And hope that heaven is real
   The clouds are descending

And now the snow has turned to fog
   Silent as ghosts
It hovers and reaches down throats
Grabs hearts and fills lungs
   You can't breath anymore

You cry for forgiveness.

Dear J,
Sometimes I wish that I could still hold your hand or run a few fingers down your cheek and look into your eyes to see that you love me. Except I can't because both you and I have someone new. Which is what we need. As humans we need the comfort of a different person to satisfy the loneliness our hearts feel.
    But sometimes a puzzle piece doesn't feel quite the same way and when that happens we're left with gaps in our memories and small holes in the roofs over our heads. And the rain gets in.
    Do you miss not relying on medication and not wishing you were sometimes dead? Because I do. I wish I didn't always think the sun used to be brighter and I miss when I thought nothing was more brilliant than you. I miss when I could laugh anything because I was carefree and because I had you.
    Do you miss having me? I know it seems shallow and I know that when a puzzle piece does fit, you don't really want to take the two apart, but what if the hiccups in the pattern are worth the weather it brings?

A human can't fathom the extent of the universe
Unless they realize that they are created from it

Sometimes the way your eyes dance when I say your name
Or the way your fingers draw circles on mine
Assures me that you feel something for my broken soul

I think the universe was made for our eyes,
Made for our existence

And I hope that you know how endlessly
I feel for you
I hope you know that I would go to the ends of the earth
To see you smile

It would be a privilege to love you, my dear
A privilege to have my heart broken by you

It would be a privilege to touch you, my dear
A privilege to be burned by you

I couldn't imagine anyone else but you tangling my hair in fingers
Long and lean, strong and clean

I wouldn't rather any other human to taint my wasted lips
And scar my pale hands with heated fingerprints

It would be a privilege to love you, my dear
And a privilege to be broken by you.

I look at you like you could stop the earth from turning
And cause great mountains to rise from nothing
Your eyes get soft and silly whenever you laugh
And my brain becomes tangled with itself whenever that happens

You look at me like I put the sun in the sky
And created the universe in one blink
My eyes get soft and nervous whenever you say my name
Because it sounds like heaven when it comes from your mouth

And I'm afraid because what if I'm falling in love again
What if I can't stop my heart from seizing up at the thought of you breaking it?
What if I have already fallen but you can't pick me up?