chrissy who: Favorites

Apr 2016 chrissy who

antxthesis

Today feels a little bit off,
a little bit off than yesterday,
and a little bit off than the day before
yesterday.

If only I could replay January,
as often as I replay Lukas Graham's "What happened to perfect".
If only I could skip to the parts where you were
always here
And erase the parts where you weren't.

If only I could scream "CUT" at the scenes where you start to make my skin itch,
And my temper bomb tick,
like this sheet I'm lying on.

But it feels like we're on different sides of the globe,
And I'm always here but you never want to stay,
you never want to come home.

I wish I could fast foward to the parts where things are okay again,
Where I'm sitting next to you, and you're smiling
and I'm looking at you
Telling you how beautiful you are.
And then I could say:
"This is perfect
Let's pause here."

But we're not starring in a movie,
this is not a song, and
we're not characters in a play
This is real life,
And sadly it is always on play.

Follow my IG: wild.chrysanthemum

#love #sad #life #pain #hurt #play

Apr 2015 chrissy who

#DownDownDown???

Apr 2015 chrissy who

Just Melz

#DownDownDown???

If you accidentally
             fall out of love,
Do you just dive
                back in head first?
           Feet first??
                     Eyes closed???
        Cannon ball????
             Or
Do you walk away
       Cause you can't swim
And you're scared to death
                   of *drowning?????

I don't know the answer and I'm not sure what I'm even asking..... Enjoy.

Comments welcomed and appreciated.
Thx

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#love #life #pain #thoughts #falling #downdowndown #hellopoetry107 #scaredtodeath #diveinheadfirst

Jan 2015 chrissy who

7 Reasons Why It's Hard Being a Poet

Jan 2015 chrissy who

Devon Webb

7 Reasons Why It's Hard Being a Poet

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.

We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

It's worth it though.

Dec 2014 chrissy who

wide awake

Dec 2014 chrissy who

berry

wide awake

i wonder if the doors in the house you grew up in
started slamming themselves to save your father the trouble.
i wonder if you can remember the last time you prayed,
and if you had trouble unfolding your hands.
i wonder if your mother knows
about the collection of hearts you hide in your closet,
i wonder if she could tell mine apart from the rest.
i wonder if your shoes know the reason why
you keep them by the back door and not your bedside.
and sometimes, i wonder
if you ever think about that night when i told you,
you wouldn't need to drink so much if you had me.
but it seems like we only speak when you've got body on your brain,
whiskey in your glass,
your judgement is overcast,
and you know i'm too weak to ignore you.
i learned how to translate your texts
from drunken mess back into english.
i am fluent in apology, but i don't ask you for them anymore.
this is just how it is.
it's not enough for either of us
but ******* it we are not above settling.
so i will ignore her name on your breath,
and you will ignore the fact that this means something to me.
i always thought the first time i kissed you,
it would be on your mouth.
i just wanted to be something warm for you to sink into,
something that could convince you to stay a second night.
but i sneak you out in the early morning,
and you take a piece of my pride with you when you go.
i am left to nurse the hangover from a wine i've never tasted,
wondering how this is possible.
waiting for the next drunk call,
for the next time i get to pretend we are lovers,
the next time i get to live out the fantasy i am most ashamed of.
it is the one in my head where you want me when you're sober too.

- m.f.

Sep 2014 chrissy who

starting everything again, part two

Sep 2014 chrissy who

J Arturo

starting everything again, part two

maybe it's selfish to say I'm
not strong without you around.
that the entire house burned down
and you make me wonder how much I want you
or just need you for shade.
who knows what love is anyway.
when lying alone in the ashes the
sun stings my eyes and burns my face.

I don't know what I want from you
but it's not to take from you, it's how
when you're around there's somehow more of me.

so when I say it'll be better when you get here I mean
this ground lay fallow, but maybe we won't build a house this time..
maybe a tree.
maybe these ashes could nourish a seed.

from a few weeks ago

Apr 2013 chrissy who

Crash&Burn

Apr 2013 chrissy who

J

Crash&Burn

I felt beautiful
Weird, right?
For me at least
Then I saw her
The one you really love
Not just your second choice
She shines like the sun
And she was beautiful in her pining for you
And I was wretched in my shame
She is beautiful, pure, pristine
And I am ugly, *****, unclean
I tried to take what wasn't mine
I hate myself more for wanting you still
Why do I delude myself into thinking you would choose me?
Over her?
Impossible
I can't even have the pleasure of a daydream
For it is too far-fetched,
Even for me,
To dream that you would choose me over her
Dreamer that I am
I no longer even have that escape
And I just can't understand
What would make you change the way you act towards me
You, romantic of all romantics, acting like any other boy
That makes me think
That I must be worse than any other girl
Because why am I not good enough for your sentimental love?
The love that I crave more than anything
Barely a week, and you broke my heart
It was crash and burn, just like I knew it would be
But I dived in anyway
Foolish girl, foolish me
Living out a pre-conceived tragedy
But you wanted me
That much is true
But it's not enough
Not for me
Its just not enough
I want all of you
I want to hold your hand
Push your hair off your forehead
Feel your arms tighten around me
Be on the receiving end of all your smiles
Be the one you talk about to your friends
Be the girl you post those silly quotes about
I thought that...
No, I hoped that you might fall
Since I was so willing
But maybe this is my fault
Cause I never let you see
The inside, the layers, of what I wanted us to be
And then there's that hope again
That this was all a miscommunication
That you'll call me again
But then I remind myself of her
And her shining, golden beauty
And I remember me
My anxious, awkward insecurity
And I fall back down again
It's enough that my stomach is in knots
And I can't eat
Because every time I do the food is thrown up the incline, thrashed around a loop-dee-loop, and back down again
Hope & Despair
Locked in a desperate tango
Marching their way through my body
Leaving me cold, shaking, tearful, awake, and lonely
But it's my own fault
I shouldn't have gone for what I knew I could never have

Basically a projectile-upchuck of my feelings lately
Sorry if it doesn't make any sense :/