Some may say I'm lonely - but they don't have a clue.
I have the best friend there could possibly be.
I may not be able to see him, but why should that matter?
I know that I can trust him - he won't tell a soul.
Not like "real people" who lie, cheat and snitch on you.
My friend may be nameless, but he is always here for me.
Not like you.
You come and go as you please; you hurt me and betray me.
You say "I'm just a phone call away."
Yet when I call, you never pick up.
He is always there - just a thought away;
He never lies;
Never cheats;
Never snitches.
Do you honestly blame me for having "trust issues"?
Well, that's your problem.

What is this life,
That I am living?
So much goes on,
It goes by so fast.
I'm stressed and depressed,
So I drink.
I drink and I am numb.
I drink and the problems that once were there disappear.

The people don't like me.
The people don't talk to me.
The people avoid me.

The people don't get me.
The people don't know what's going on in my head.
The people don't know that I'm dying.

The people don't know what I've been through.
The people don't know what I'm going through.
The people don't know what I'm going to go through.

They don't know me at all.

Where were you last night?
You said you'd be here, but you weren't.
So then, where were you?

Were you with a girl?
Or were you alone all night?
I thought you loved me.

I thought you might care.
You said you would comfort me,
Hug me 'til I slept.

Wipe my tears away.
Tell me it will be alright.
But you were not there.

Were you with a boy?
I'm not really one to judge.
Please don't lie to me.

I just want to know.
Where were you last night? Tell me!
Why won't you tell me?

Please, I'm begging you.
Just tell me the honest truth.
Are you that ashamed?

Do you not trust me?
Even after all of this?
I don't understand.

I really love you.
It's clear you don't feel the same.
You want to break up?

So it was a boy!
I said I'm not one to judge,
But I'm disgusted.

Not because he's male,
No - but because you cheated.
How could you do this?

Why hurt me like this?
You know it ******* kills me.
Crushes me to dust.

Like a nut grinder:
The nut is cracked - but continue.
-Just like me right now.

I won't seek revenge.
I know you know how it feels.
I watched you suffer.

I understand now,
Why you were not here last night:
You love him - not me.

Go, have fun with him.
Remember good times we had.
Forget the bad ones.

You know I still care.
What we had was real for me.
No one can change that.

Go, live your dream.
Get married, have some children.
Build a happy home.

One day - maybe soon,
My dreams will become real too,
So I'll let you go.

Goodbye bestest friend.
I will forever miss you.
Here at last: goodbye.

I look up high and see the sky,
I see what beauty surrounds me.
All the different colours, all the different smells-
Could this all be real? I don't think so.
Too much detail, so much sophistication.
Is there a God after all?
It all makes sense now: the colours, the smells.
This isn't a reality - it is all in my head.

Where am I now?
Hospital you say?
It can't be real, no.
Why?
I'm not sick.
I'm not senseless.
I know what I see and smell isn't real,
but I know that.
I'm not crazy.
How dare you suggest such a thing!
I'm sane.
I'm not crazy.