Drugs feel decaf
popping pills
like candy
now I'm just getting a sugar rush
Downing six packs
that turn into twelve packs
that turn into an amount
That I refuse to count
You asked me why I started to like needles
and dear
Thats because I am afraid of them
I need a new tactic to build up a new rush
And phobias give me the pumping adrenaline I need

every day, speak a little less
reduce the number of words you say from half to
ten less, and then none at all.

Don't forget to be soft.
Kiss your mountaintop goodbye for
one last sunrise and descend
into the night
where it's quiet
like you should be.

one by one, pull back towards yourself
the orbs of energy you've left
bouncing around you in the
atmosphere.
be their chalice
one last time
and watch them burn out.

and when you're reduced to
dying ashes and deathly whispers
a strong voice will suddenly falter
and they wonder -
*didn't we once know a ... ?

It wasn't the common kind of sadness.
It was dark,
engulfing,
consuming.

It was a vast and dark ocean,
and I was nothing
but a tiny rock
thrown in it.

I sank hard,
I sank fast.
There at the bottom,
I stayed.

Never seeing.
Never leaving.

**** you.

Don't tell me I'm perfect.
Don't kiss my finger tips
and slide a necklace over
my collar bones.
Don't tell me I'm the one.
Don't kiss me goodbye because
I kissed her with
lust in my eyes just an
hour ago.
Don't tell me that I deserve
so much more than you.
Because I might reply "ditto".

I've been caught in my mind for
so long, that this has become the only
place I understand things.
She feels like he did.
Always breathing this fog
that I could never wrap my
head around, so I mistook it for
a good fuzzy feeling in my gut.
But when I'm not around her
I want to cry for the
secret kisses we shared
that I know I meant. I know I
wanted to feel her lip piercing
between my teeth
and I know that her hands between
my thighs again was something
I craved. But it's not something
I can have. I have something
that is so much better than
"secrets" when really I should
call them ***** lies.
Maybe that's why my tongue has
swollen and I can feel
cavities rotting into my teeth.
I've been trying to keep her
name in my mouth for so long,
rigor mortis has set in
and the decomposition has begun.

With this black mold inside my lungs
I knew it wouldn't be long before
you noticed the wheeze that went along
with me moaning your name.

Now don't tell me I'm perfect
because I can feel your anger
pound in your veins
harder than your dad ever hit you.
I know that when you kiss me
you don't fully push your
body against mine
and your stomach shrinks away
from my hands
because they were on her chest
earlier that week.
And you know it now.
You know now that you
aren't the only person
to have taken pleasure from
my double tongue piercing.
She felt the venom sink
in as I bit her neck and she
shivered, getting high off me
and I got drunk on her,
and we could not be healthy.

But there's nothing I could
say to reassure you
because you have seen the way
I stare at stars,
and she's an entirely different
planet to me.

She sits in her chair,
The wood touches her neck,
She looks at the ground,
Terrified of regret

Looking at the crowd
Eyes of curiosity
Can she make a sound?
Ignore the blasphemy?

Slowly but surely,
With hesitant hands,
She throws up her arm,
And she starts up the band

She raises her bow,
And when it touches the strings,
The world is amazed
By the beauty she brings