"the storm won't last forever"* they always told her
anxiety grew with age, for she was the chaos on the ocean
she was the storm for all that it **was

you’re looking at me through street lights and dark
you’re looking at me you’re whole world falling apart
waking the neighbors, you cry alongside the rising lark
darling don’t worry i’ll hold your world together with my heart

the demons aren’t real yet you make them your home
screaming behind walls of traumatic stress you call your own
tearing at silk stitches, flashing smiles of chrome
eyes of green lament, it was the world you let drag you down

the glistening stars fall dim in a hushed morning sky
beautiful eyes, you look at me with such deplorable lies
that night, the car, you in my arms, the words: we could die
heart beat rampant, eyes glazed with clouds you whisper goodbyes

you’re seated beside me, apologies and feelings left bestrewn
lethargic beauty, you act as if you are the daybreak’s evanescent moon
mind collapsing into craters, you threaten forever so soon

there was always something about my life,
in a way that it wasn't my own.
loss is just another thing waiting outside the door

you should never look to a parent
and see nothing in their eyes
its terrifying that we're all just tearing out each other's insides

i'm waiting for life to come
but this "life" is in my way
it's not my own
it waiting for what someone else will say

and for me theres just no future
just your own in your narrow eyes
those empty threats aren't words anymore
because death isn't a lie

i've been beating my head against the door
because you were waiting to leave
i felt the pain more
because it was wrong and all that i could see

heartbreak seeping down the walls
sweat and tears left on the sheets
and i'm here left waiting
this life isn't up to me

in someway i can't wait to go
but it tears me apart to leave
destructive love turned to tears
i'm blind and i can't breath

she is disarray,
heart of quandary,
clutter of thoughts,
bestrewn responsibility.

she lays
cool grass tickling her cheeks.
her entire world,
tangled as the spirals in her hair,
drifting overhead.

that day
she let go of the shambles
of everything that was.

her worries,
once so heavy,
became the clouds.
and she had nothing but blue skies

you feel so far away
in a way that
i could not drive 30 minutes to your house
but do a marathon
in the opposite direction
plain, train, bike
a lap around the world
just to arrive at your front door