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 Mar 2023 Careena
don't refuse the hate
you have for me
it keeps the loose thread
on my old socks
from being torn away

comfy and worn only ever so often
when it gets a bit too cold
 Oct 2022 Careena
 Oct 2022 Careena
I only write,
I am in love
Falling apart.
 Jul 2022 Careena
Anon Y Mous
So history repeats itself,
her heart split between two.
Just call her Daisy Buchanan,
a beautiful little fool.
 Jul 2022 Careena
Anon Y Mous
When I was with you,
I was sent back,
into a capsule of time,
where the world was
once devine,
I was younger,
for an evening,
less jaded,
easy breathing,
heart felt healed,
my soul felt ​seen,
was it all real?
Or just an elaborate dream?
 Jul 2022 Careena
sub zero
 Jul 2022 Careena
i'm so cold and
i wish you were here
to warm me

i bet you'd think
i want you to hold me
or **** me

but truly i want
to watch your skin melt
in bright flames

i want to listen
as your bones crack and
tumble into ashes

although just
seeing your pathetic face
could ignite a rage

more than enough
to beat this frosty night
- but not as fun

i still love you, unfortunately, but where could you possibly find the audacity to think i want you back.
 May 2022 Careena
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
suicide is not an option
 May 2022 Careena
Anon Y Mous
 May 2022 Careena
Anon Y Mous
I am the butter,
left out in a dish,
in many regards.
Most People don't care,
until suddenly they do.

Its okay then to
spread me thin,
stick a knife in me again
and again,
scrape and smear me,
I seep into the cracks,
soften the scratchy parts,
radiate warmth,

I'm lovable after all...
but only for a time,
then leave me,
until the next use.
Take and take
till there's nothing left,
Savor your bites,
It will be the last of me.
 Sep 2020 Careena
Over and over,
Round and round.
Killing the mind.
Sealing the mouth.

Smiling, laughing.
Bullets in my head.
The worst part is
They don’t know
I’m almost dead.

Begging the heart,
Not my own will.
I’m holding the gun,
Just shoot. Don’t ****.

Haven’t you learned?
You’re hurting me.
You’re hurting us.
Just let go of me.

But you’re not holding on,
I’m gripping the knife.
I’m killing myself,
With no blood on my arm.

Blood on my mind,
Heart, soul.
Telling my own heart.
To leave me alone.

Nobody knows,
No one understands.
I am being murdered,
By my own hand.

Please don’t help me,
Because if you do
I’ll be so happy
Why can’t you see?

You will come.
You will leave.
I’m back at the start
Pulling the trigger.
Destroying my heart.

But I have none.
Not one small scar.
I’m perfectly fine,
If you look from a far.

As you look from a far,
At this dazzling star.
Shining for you.
A beautiful flame.

So, that very flame,
Is the cause of my pain?

Unstoppable, Unbreakable,
Slowly killing me inside.
Soon I’ll disappear,
But I would not have died.

My heart, my flame,
My mind will be dead.
I torture my soul,
With every thought in my head.

How to describe it,
To describe my death?
Well my heart took a gun,
And killed itself.

Why? You ask?
Well that’s painfully simple,
And horribly true.
The cause of my abuse,

Is my love for you.

an old poem i found while cleaning out my files

i guess i've been sad for a while now
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