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Careena 6d
Talking to you
Is like screaming
To the wind
Touching mist
In one ear
Past a space
Out the other

I try to speak
Nothing sticks
I am mute
So it seems
Why is this?

I have found
Little things
Poems I wrote
Years ago
Where I found
The same thing

I cry out
To you dear
What response
Do I hear?
Careena 7d
My skeleton is a liar

The soul I possess
Is the true structure
Holding me up,
Making me stand

My spine
Is not my true backbone

As I've seen my body fail
Crash and burn
Dumpster fire
That hyperventilating
Mass in the corner
Out of order
In need of service

My soul shines through
Those smoke filled skies
And jagged rocks
Careena Sep 26
I want it.
The shaking.
I won't know
If it is
I wish
My eyesight
Blur and
I don't
Know if I
Can feel that
I've been
there too
Many times
It lost its
Even at
My lowest
I didn't feel
That low
was room
to go down
When would
I feel
When would
Careena Sep 16
Scooped out
Pumpkin guts
Spilled onto my
Kitchen table
Prepared to be cut
Two triangle eyes
For me, please
A mouth with missing teeth
A candle light
At my center
To shine through,
Illuminate the hollow
Careena Jun 28
I was wondering when
I would eat my own words
Now I need to count the carbs
In each syllable

Calculate just how much
Life juice to inject
Into my bruised abdomen
After milking the drops
From my tingling finger

I ask of you to see
And watch and listen to me
Because I am not a result
Of sucrose-inclined molars
Or an unlucky inheritance
I am all of my own

So when my jaw grew thin
I praised myself and thought how
I shed some "extra" fat
I thought perhaps
Maybe I had a tape worm
Or a hollow leg
That hid over 2500 calories
In a single day that still didn't feel
Like enough
With 126 oz of water
I was leaking every twenty minutes
I praised myself, but
I didnt feel like myself

I knew before I knew
Had that deep gut feel
Before it was real
It was so undeniably mine
Like a limb I forgot I had

But it was like that limb previously
Slapped me in the face,
Stole my fortune,
Ran off with my fiancé,
Then said I was bound for great things
As it slipped out the back

I was shredded into nothing
But handed something of promise
Careena Dec 2018
You've not been feeling yourself
A dull kind of ache
A colorless vision

Feels too small to mention
Yet larger than comfortable
I see you inside

I sat in a field, once
Off topic, but it connects
I was thirteen and was offered
A fruit punch with Burnetts
I said no, but watched
As she did and spun around
In that field with that drink
And a sky full of stars

I felt small
In a snowglobe
The stars were just pieces
Of flakes ready to fall
I stared hard at them
And for the first time I saw
Their true light
Never constant

And as I reflect
I know that this much is true
Just as the stars are
Even people flicker too
Careena Oct 2018
It's not that this space
Aches in your lack
It's that it feels fuller
When you come back
I just want you to stay always
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