My heart is tangled in you
I think I have fallen
I fought it so hard
But it just sinks in
And I hate it

You will never love me
You will never wake up beside me

I will never feel your lips on mine

I am a hallow shell

Waiting for someone to fill me

Fill me with love
I beg of you.

As I drift in the middle of this body of water

This vast abyss reminds me of our time on the earth


The waves unpredictable 

Yet you can see them coming


The sun cool at first

But then grows hotter

These people that either give you hell or give you help


This storm of bad fortune

Makes the waves grow taller
And the people grow smaller


As they go away to their shelters to leave you at sea

Because when this place is at it's worse

That's when you are left alone 


That's when you must fight the wind and the waves all by yourself 

To get back to where you belong

We're all mirrors in our fragile states
Enough pressure against us, our surfaces
Cause cracks across our faces
Some have shattered beneath
Shards of us fall to the ground
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who's the most broken among us all?

If only your arms
Held me true again
Our lips and
bodies entwined~
If we could remember
language once shared.
Find our rhythm divine

Yet we have climbed
these ravaged cliffs
Heartbreak Chasm
between~
A fragile bridge
of diminished connect
Crossed only in my dreams

Older now
in this state of suspense
To watch our love fall away~
A tender time for both of us
This loss of each
Precious day


Copyright © 2015 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved

god made stars
for starving poets

when they look up
they forget
how hungry they are

    ~mce

i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"
   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"
so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"
i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"
before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"
   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."
and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried