I thought I was over it, I thought I was finally okay again. Then all of the sudden it's like the night it all happened hits me in the chest and knocks me off my feet. Losing my ground and the air in my lungs, I forgot how to breathe. And I'm sitting in my room as I try to write this down, and I know it isn't good enough. Everything seems wrong to say and all the words are making me drown. I want this world to end, but just for me, I want to see all the life in everyone else's eyes except mine. I don't deserve this world, it was never mine to deserve. And now that I'm staring at this screen trying to make all these words make sense. Maybe I'm trying to say goodbye, or hello for the first time. I haven't made up my mind yet. But I guess what's happening is that all this pain is built up inside my heart and I wake up to realize that it's never going away, I thought I was okay but I'm such a liar.

loving you is like picking
the petals from a flower
i hate you, i miss you, i
hate you, i miss you
but whichever petal i end
up with, will you please
come back?

you don’t get me
so you don’t get me

I live by the sun
Bright & happy
Nurturing & giving warmth
Embracing & encouraging others with a friendly love
With fierce passion & strength in every last part of my soul
Breathing life & excitement into all I can

I love by the moon
Mysteriously beautiful, you can't quite place your finger on why
Stealing kisses in the dark & maybe steal your heart too
Loving intensely & romantically
A seduction of lust yet of a love that is so unconditional, pure & true
I will see you in the most vunerable of times & still love you with all of me

Live by the sun, love by the moon
Yes, it's what I do

she picked up all the petals off of all the flowers, but in her heart she knew he loved her

you could look into
my eyes and you
can tell that i hate
myself.