Darkness.

He settles on my skin like an absent touch; His hands the hands of a past love tracing my outline and raising my skin.

He whispers to me in dreams. What was once, and what could be, he lingers in the thoughts I can't control.
He breathes silence in the space between us, enclosing every inch of my body in his icy exhalation.
He is the coldest of comforts.

He is fearful, but I do not fear him.

His chasm of understanding and attentiveness is an infinite book of blank pages to be filled. He hears me. He listens.

He Is the giver of time that nobody wants. He provides. When I am at war with my thoughts at 3 AM, he is on my side.
He does not lie, unless it is along side of me. On top of me. All around me. He is consuming.  

He is untrustworthy, but I have given him mine.

He is the quietest of melodies. His song cradles me into sleep, and I feel him beside me as I drift away.
When I awake in the morning he has always left, but is never really gone.
In the brightest of rays, I can still see him.

He controls me like an illness, but only with my consent.

Darkness.
If ever I wanted to leave him, would he let me?
Could I cleanse my soul after his touch?  
If I ignored his approach in the eve,
would he still be kind to me when the daylight faded?


I'm afraid to find out.

The riot time has ended
The dog days are gone too-

The warmth. Gone.
Bliss turns to breeze
Saddles to boots.
Outside to inside.

It's time for harvest to arise--
She opens her eyes,
And kisses the sky with her orange tinted lips.
The sun shys away.
As do the leaves.
As do I.

Snug. Wishing. Waiting.
For bliss instead of breeze.
Waves of the ocean replacing waves of ice.
For Summer to open her eyes.
Remove her disguise,
And romance the skies.

My grasp on reality
in patterns over my eyes
the vibrations, sensations,

  draw
        me
              far
                    from
   ­                        this
                                   life.

Down two pills,
climb two levels.
Mind rises to heaven,
Body falls to pebbles.

Smile brightly at the world,
with eyes that cast black shadows.

My mind is racing,
but my thoughts are spacing.

I taste the music's every word
close my eyes, and hide the blur.

My heart tuned to a hummingbird.
I'm providing depression with my own cure.

Another sleepless night awaits
for the colors and delusions my mind creates.
climbing back down with anger and pain,
hoping that no one will see my shame

In some time I will  be returning
to lay with my thoughts and try to rest
some ask if it's worth it, all things concerning,
and, for some reason, I always say yes.

it's not that reality's boring
dreams just show me the way
it's not that reality's not welcoming
but in dreams I wish I could stay

it's not that the world is painful
but in dreams there is no strain
it's not that the world is judgmental
but in dreams I can bathe in the rain

it's not that society's uncreative
but in dreams I can paint with the music
it's not that society's not surprising
but in dreams I never feel basic  

it's not that life is too limited
but in dreams I can walk on the sun
It's not that life isn't enjoyable
but sadly, my dreams are more fun.

This Summer is the Winter of my life. Frost covering my heart, and ducts hammering water on the dead flowers of my soul.
So long I have waited for the call of the sunshine to lift my spirits, yet now I find a more relatable friend in the rain.
Falling fast and falling far.
The joy of some, but the burden of most.
I can't give much more until I run dry and become nothing more than a pale memory of a short - lived storm.
What then?
After I give my all, what is there to offer?
I will be nothing more than the puddle stepped in by muddy shoes, with those I touched praying for the sun,
as I did not so long ago.

The night stretched into oblivion
Into my eyes, my soul.

 I caught its shadow
Lingering to the far side of my mind.

Behind my vision.
 My voice.

Straying from the only thing he knows
in hopes to get lost in the beauty
of the unknown.

chasing the miles
she runs down her path with grace
so sure-- of what she wants
what she's capable of.

hunting the hours
spending hers in stride
after the one thing she can change
the future, behind her eyes.

looking in the distance
the one she's planned on
the one everyone has planned on
the one shes expected to go to


Stopping short of the finish
one step--that's all she needs

to live her dream. Their dream.
to be all they wanted, expected.

A smile comes across her face,
as she steps from the path,
walks away from their finish line..

and runs towards hers.

Eternities ahead,
but miles behind,
we collaborated together
to find places to hide.

We started out young,
hide and go seek.
Hiding, but laughing,
so young and naive.

Then we got older,
hiding from boys,
hiding the music our parents called noise.

Hiding from school,
hiding from grades,
hiding some of the friends that we made.

Then as we aged,
we hid from our thoughts,
we hid from our feelings,
and the darkness they brought.

Hiding our fears,
hiding our troubles,
behind all our smiles,
we hid all our stumbles.

But as the years passed,
we kept on trying.
We began to find acceptance
in the love we were denying.

We learned to be happy,
we learned to be wise.
We discovered ourselves,
and rekindled our light.

So as we push forward
we'll continue to fight,
to show all the others,
there's no need to hide.

-Caitlin Harvey

Feelings,
we borrow so many feelings from others without their permission.
"Borrow",
passing out your happiness without realizing that you may not have enough for yourself.
Enough,
how much is enough? Such a cyclical world of give and take,
is anything truly ours to begin with?
Give and take,
what happens when you take my happiness from me ? Can I give it without the darkness overtaking me?
Overtaking me,
who is the next in this cycle? Who will I then take my happiness from? Who follows them?
Just thinking.