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I read a book today
the words spoke to me
from a dream
into reality
or vice versa
I don't know.

I read a book today
the words were so pure
some with love
into fantasy
or fondest desires
I don't know.

I read a book today
words cut like a knife
filled with hate
and with despair
or pure agony
I felt it.

The book spoke to me
the words were vivid
someone else's life
poured out in ink
and made me wonder
somewhere inside
I needed to know.
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
Voices
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
There is more than one voice
in my head I must make a choice,
which to listen and which to ignore
but as the days go on I can't anymore
people must think I'm a bore

I don't talk a lot too,
that much is true,
I am stuck inside my mind
not peaceful nor sublime
all these thoughts I must hide

It's difficult to say
words in the same way
My own thoughts go at their own rate
No, I must stop and translate
but by then it's too late

The conversation is over now
I would talk but I don't know how
Not without thinking first
it is hard for me to just burst
I'd wish it were revers'd

So many opportunities I had lost
It is me who paid the cost
I know myself better than any
but that's because I don't share with many
my thoughts for a penny...

I curse the voices in my head
they never stop, just like I said
think too much to say a thing
inside I feel like a king
but out here... nothing

Those close to me are fine
with them I share thoughts of mine
with them the voices slow just a bit
I have enough time to show my wit
Though I'd hate to admit—

At the end of the day
I'd like to go away
Spend some time alone
I don't know, in my home?
All on my own

I need the space
to let the mind race
quiet time
it's not a crime
no more rhyme
I speak more through the written word than any word I've said aloud
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
Trust
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
Such a word
only a word

only a word
to me

there is none
whom i "trust"

i wish there was
someone to talk to
about everything
but the truth is
there isn't

to relay on completely
to keep my words
to understand them
none

sadly, i am a lock
few hold the key
too bad
the lock is broken
I have yet to meet someone I fully trust, so far, I don't believe such a thing exists.
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
my mind
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
my mind is a festival
my mind is a party
my mind is a circus
my mind is a wonderland

my mind contains all inner jokes
and smiles that become laughter

my mind is a journal
my mind is a filter
my mind is a river
my mind is an attic

my mind brings back memories
both good and bad
and times of days past

my mind is a prison
my mind is a vault
my mind is a trap
my mind is an escape...

my mind is never quiet
never shuts up
never stops thinking
and yet

very little gets out
 Oct 2014 cailynn
alex grey
You tell me I need to lose weight,
so I do,
lest I grow wide.
You tell me I need to eat more,
so I do,
lest I die.

You tell me I need to focus on studies,
so I do,
to make it to a good school.
You tell me I need not focus too much,
so I don't,
I can have some fun too.

You tell me to make more friends,
so I do,
my empathy stretches to three.
You tell me not to worry about others,
so I don't,
only to worry about me.

You tell me not to boast or brag,
so I don't,
my work should not be compared.
You tell me I should be more like her,
now I'm confused,
two different meanings, so you dared.

Why must you confuse me?
Which is it that you want?
In a world of black and white,
my world,
you make no sense,
but for so long,
I've tried
to make due.

Trust me,
I'm really trying to.

Being two things at once,
has become a game,
don't take me for a dunce,
it is my mind I cannot tame.

So be happy with what you created,
for I am both, the good and the bad.

It's all on you.
So make up your mind,
are you happy
or sad?

— The End —