this thin sliver of me
amid the spectrum
of rage and depression
fights on valiantly
stopping the needle swinging
too far in one direction
atonement or atrocity
two paths one destination
self destruction guaranteed
explosion or deflation
erosion or erasure
my gauge for engaging occasions
will always be
this thin sliver of me
and its quest for equanimity

i spend my days
rearranging
data on the computer
my machine
is almost psychically
connected to its user
everything is laid out logically
in this universe of illusion
to take a step away
into the chaos reign
of the real world
is an intrusion
soon be back again
sustenance attained
level up
and on with the mission
in the only game
ill willingly play
waiting to waste away
in front of the television

"Autumn killed the summer with the softest kiss."

you looked, but did not follow
and I think that broke my heart more

what happens when the prodigal son returns
wanting nothing but apologies for bridges burnt
is he has to cross a chasm
has his advances spurned
travels back to his far country
lesson learned

i had no idea what love was
until it disappeared
or the joyful sound it made
until silence was all that i could hear
or the beauty that it held
in a single tear
i had no idea what love was
until love disappeared

i had no idea what love would take
until it was gone
took apart this wanting heart
left behind this weary soul
would i have let it get this far
if only i had known
i had no idea what love would take
until love was gone