I have wished for years
That my collarbones would make themselves
Known.
That my muscles would
Atrophy.
And my skin would become
Paper thin.
All for the sake of exposing the calcified lattice
That holds me together.
Holds me down.
I have wished to see my ribs
So that I could better understand the bars that my heart
Beats so fiercely against.
I have wished my spine to rise from beneath sinew
Form peaks against my skin
Just so I can see
What makes a man
What backbone is
See what makes me
Stand
Against those things that I do not desire.
Yet here I am.
Synapses stretched between
Head
And
Heart
Eyes sundered, seeing what my heart can't take.
What my fragile fingers fail to grasp.
I am a graveyard.
Made of stars that decided they were meant for other tasks.
Rub your charcol across my bones
Just to see what stories the universe has told.
For it has lived and died a thousand times, and now
And now, this time around it chooses to call this body
Home.
So although there are days I wish my hip bones would rise like
Mountains
In the desert,
That this soft skin would part and give
Rise
To bones like Aspen trees,
I will accept that my
Clavicles
Are the bottom of the sea bed.
And I am
Mile
Upon
Mile
Of stormy ocean.
Still waiting to explored.

We texted back and forth about how fine things were
Silent calls for help for the hell
We were wanderers
I said things like, “What does sadness sound like?”
To which she replied, “It sounds like me”
We had each other in voiceless thoughts
That were gathered in the energy of eternity
I hope she’ll find the hope she gave
On hopeless days
When it was all planned to end
I hope to see the words she prayed
Tattooed across my chest reminding me:
I was never alone
Hearts that yearned for the other’s joy
We continued to walk through hell
Unknowingly side by side

conversation
Worthy of a hospital waiting room
Your contact leaves my skin blistered

I didn't say it to be romantic
But informative disconnected emotionless your retaliation is the
Balled fist a hand I've studied
I know how the skin lays over that knuckle
Scarless you cross two legs I have known with my hands and my mouth
You turn away as if you didn't hear

She was wild like skinny dipping at midnight, stars watching overhead and falling in love with moonlight. The way it lay upon her skin made the ocean envious of her depths within and sometimes between us. She was my sister, not in blood but in orbit. A Venus to my Earth, forged from the same collapsing star and if the universe was in fact to be infinite then this moment would happen again, and again, and again an immeasurable number of times. I found comfort in this thought, knowing though our existence was meaningless, it was still full of feeling, and this feeling, right now, it insisted on existing forever.

sometimes I think you hate me. the way you cut your words at the end making sure they jab, sometimes I think you hate me,
the way you walk away as quickly as you came, sometimes I think you hate me the way you level your eyes on every inch of my body but my eyes, sometimes I think you hate me more than you could ever love me and then you kiss me until I'm left with no memories to rely on, sometimes I think you love me and then you go and leave me