And the tear meets the floor
the sob escapes my lips
My body shudders
my knees give out

I am clueless on whether I should feel
afraid
or relieved

I can feel
It is a million times different than before
but its there

My heart is not stone
It beats
not rapidly
not specifically


but its alive
I'm alive
and I love you

Oh dear god I love you
I pray to any god who will help me
help me shed the feeling
I bear for those

That I
Cannot
have

When life has you on your toes
snapping her fingers
and clicking her tongue
in disapproval

Too much on you plate?
no such thing
and so the pile grows
until you've stretched so thin

That your physical being
is actually
numb

Melted within the small skull cavity;
blending with the bone;
You mind is long gone
and so is your sanity

But you keep performing
because life
is cruel
and unforgiving

to any
with faults
that break the surface

Don't you ever get tired?                                             Don't
Don't you ever get tired?                                             You
Don't you ever get tired?                                             Ever
Don't you ever get tired?                                             Get
Don't you ever get tired?                                            Tired
                                                                                           ?





Of being




A *Human?

Sleep
                                                                                            Sleep
Oh how i love her so

Sleep

I drown in the beauty
of delusion
the colors
That I bath in

The smiles
That I cause

The image
That I
want

But its all in my head
because in the real world
sleep is sleep and dreams . . .

Dreams are dead
                                                                                                  Dead

I was happy
I was happy
I was happy

was I not?

I was happy
I was happy

Or so I thought?

I was happy

perhaps I'm just caught

or



No,  I wasn't happy
I wasn't

There's something
Something
Something wrong

The vocals of our winged friends
The beams
The warmth

Its all there
Everything is there
So why?

Why do I want to cry?