darling if you just let me hold you, I'll never hurt you. there's a wind that comes through here, and carries the voices of a thousand souls. the smell of a thousand people, dirt, lilac, spice, shampoo, roses, peaches, sea spray. there's a town in the trees, things happen, strange things. love and pain and art and ****** and secrets and poetry. the hair on your head ruffled just by one wind, the one wind running through the town and the trees, the wind that carries the breath and smells of a thousand people. a wind that carries the voice of a preacher living in his own sin and gin and dirt under his nails. dirt of the ****** he buried in the name of the Lord. a wind that carries the screams of woman losing her child, the scream of a woman who brings another child into the town in the trees. the same wind brings your voice to me and the same wind brings the smell of your peppermint after shave and spicy breath of ***** and ***. the wind you followed into the sea on a boat that was lost forever to me. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I don't know how to follow the wind after you, I wish I could for I need you to watch the way I make art after a drink and a smoke or a soft sober moment we share. it doesn't need to make sense, only to you and me to watch scorpio sting and squirm in the sky, stuck. the tiny collection of stars we love and tattooed on the skin of our scarred wrists. you'd hold me and kiss the inside of my thumb, telling me it was the way it should be until I threw down the things you loved most. you forgave me but left, though I begged you not. and then the boat and the sky and the earth and the waves consumed you and I lost the thing I loved the most and can't take back and I won't take it back for it was beautiful and the tattoo on my wrist will fade and distort but the love I have will not.

hearts beating faster faster in our chests i don't know where we're going or where we'll be but the sky is dark like fabric black as can be stretched tight over the earth and someone poked tiny holes to let bright spheres of gas and light through. stars are funny, you see, they're like the stories of people trapped in a dimension beyond our own comprehension. all seven sins still present and the forecast is cloudy with a chance of raining cats and dogs. we were there very happy and ****** up in ourselves then something changed and we fell apart and your hand was always gone probably down the pants of another. i just wanted to say "*******" as I scream from the rooftops. shingles splitting down into the street. i miss that hand that used to always be in mine but it doesn't really matter now because you fell for another. i bet her apartment isn't ****** like the downtown hole I reside in and I bet her mattress doesn't squeak oh so horribly when we get down to business. i bet you even love the way she straightens her hair with heat and glitter and wears something nice something more than a dress from a thrift store bin at the end of my street. i don't care where you'll go and i don't care where you'll be because you hurt me inside and i locked out the key. i'm sure that it's black a slower beat in my core and a duller thudding sound as your lies infected me. the sad thing is i'll still be here in this hole apartment in downtown not waiting for you but knowing someday you may come crawling back and on that day i'm so happy to say that i may invite you in and then step on your hands with my ***** old shoes. i'm sorry no really i'm not and i will forgive someday but for now you truly disgust me.

black black holes and white white stars, circling, dancing in the that black black sky and from it tears of blue blue rain falls in time with our sorrows. red red blood pumped through our veins and our red red hearts pumped in tune of our favorite song and we couldn't feel pain and we couldn't feel love but we took what we could and that was enough. i stubbed my toe when i was nine and i smashed my hand falling out your green green tree in your green green yard and stained the ground a dark red red. the white white doctors were baffled by the thought that i felt no pain and i just said it was because of your brown brown eyes and the way it felt like a blue blue ocean i lost myself in. maybe i drowned in those blue blue eyes and my pain was lost in the white white surf and that was all i needed to know and that was enough. when i was twelve there was boy in my class who called me names like "fatty" and "ugly" which weren't original but stung like knives and when i held his hand on the fourth of july and kissed his nose under the bright bright lights it didn't feel anything quite like you, but that was enough.  do you remember that on that day of bright bright flowers and white white daisies and gold gold marigolds and we sat on a blue blue blanket listening to our song and we held hands and kissed noses and i felt all of you but you felt none of me? i guess that's how the story goes and that is enough and enough is enough and when i turned twenty-one we drank too much and you went home under the black black sky and you said you felt all of me but i felt none of you and that is enough. i drank myself to death into a deep deep hole in the dead dead ground and i finally felt all of you but you felt none of me and enough is enough.