A reflection
to be punched,
shattered glass to cut.
How would
you have liked
my body?
Preferably
something akin
to playing
the game of
volley?
I could
start with my hips,
and then follow
with my stomach.
Or would you
just prefer it
over my wrist?

To tell someone,
a living, breathing,
human being
to **** themself or
belittle them without
the knowledge of
being an adult.
I truly feel
sorry for those
the most.

What does it
feel like to be
the perfect shape
to have set,
cradled in your
lap?
Head on shoulder,
hand on lower
back.
Would the
colorful lights
hung up high
be the thing
to glisten in
your eyes?
Or would it
have been me
and all the
endless possibilities?
Like summer's
playing in the sun,
me calling
shotgun
after your favorite
pastime?
Like holding hands,
stroling in the sand?
Like sitting on
the tops of flat-roofed
buildings,
would you have been
the one I counted
stars with?
Laying there
on that blanket,
life would be
sublime.

To rush your
hands straight out,
up and under
the opponents
used pads.
That's one
way to make him surely
proud.

To live and
memorize,
to breathe and
worship that
forsaken word.
That's the
only way to
live in his world.

"Sometimes no matter
how hard you try,
there will be people
that you will never
be good enough for,"
That's the only
lesson from him
that I will ever
be eager to learn.

I push
and
I push
until I get what I want.
To be free
of feelings that
surround me
is only dreams
far, far away.
So listen
to what I say and
when I finally hit the spot,
you give me what I want.
A lash here,
a lash there.
No drug could compare.
These are the feelings
I don't want to fade.
They fill me up
with the knowledge
I already know.
Give me those words,
show yourself.
I don't lie
like that anymore,
but it'd be a lie
if I said that
I meant those things.
There's no
buying into it with you.
You just say the
things you feel.

I have made more mistakes
than I could possibly carry.
My words are pretty
because they're the truth,
and the truth is pain.
And there is pain in
everything with beauty.

I'll remember him
for the way he
was the first to break my faith.

I'll remember him
for the way he shaped my
belief of the little
I am worth to boys.

I'll remember him
for being the first to
break my heart.

I'll remember him
for the way he
broke my soul
in believing
there was still
good guys in the world.

I'll remember him
because he was
the only one that
ended on good terms.

I'll remember him
for being just
another *******
that walked all over me.

The truth is,
I had a part
in ruining everything
that ever starts.
The pain is,
fat
as
ses
are never enough,
right?
And the beauty is,
I'll take everyone of them
wherever I go.
Life lessons to
Trust no one.

I like to
make pretend
that what I do is
okay,
as long as
it's done to you.

I like to
think that
what I do
is justified
because
you lied.

So I
hide behind
silly disguises,
waiting for
the perfect timing.

I make
believe that
I'm hidden
in the dark
and that my
past is clean,
white stark.

But I guess
I don't know
that two wrongs
don't make a right
or that it's
not nice
to leave hole's
in heart's
of the like.

like the broken glass
in the bottom of your worn shoe,
walk all over me.

Why think
one side is
different from the other?
Aren't they
one in the same?

i'm weak and timid,
just for you.
i'm head over heels,
just for you.
i'm already deep in,
just for you.

but who are you?
what do you like?
what do you dream of?
will that voice
send shivers all through
my body, even down
to the toes?
will that face haunt my dreams
while i think you deserve better?

oh lonely star,
when will you come?
to show i've always
been enough.

How does it
feel to kiss those
lips of yours?
They look
like soft clouds
made out of
heaven.

How does it
feel to hold
those big hands
and have them sculpt
the body,
making it feel
like classical art?

How does it feel
to be the reflection
that only your eyes
enjoy reflecting?

How does it
feel to be the
center piece of
the dining table
set in your mind?

How does it
feel to feel you
and to touch you
beyond that
perfect body?

How does it
feel to taste you?
Not just the
best parts, but
every part.
Your soul,
your mind,
your words.

How does it
feel to be yours,
to be something
your proud
to call your
home?

Since you already know
and you like to play along,
make my effort worth it,
throw me a bone.

he sees me
but just for a moment.
no one around,
he talks to me
in a whisper.
acts so loud
and tough
with the other boys,
do you like it rough,
babe?
make sure
i'm around to hear
those pretty things said
to girls in
passing,
akin to the way
i wish i was made.
when no one
is around,
it's funny how
people can deceit.
when no one
is around,
you don't see these
tears of gold
made of
lemonade.

He calls her
'Sweetheart',
and complements
her hair.

Maybe it was
a little wrong of me
to ask her so loudly.

But what can
I say?
Being hurt like that
causes me to
lash out so
tragically.

It's funny how
at the bottom of the
pages here begin with
'The End'
and at the top it's
'The Start'
I wonder when
I'll stop writing
about you,
and begin writing
about him.
Which one do
you think I'll
end with talking
about?

he lived
to see the
glory day's of
my childlike heart.

he'd tear
it up only to
come back and fix it.

i ponder,
what would he
think if he could see
how high this
new and less abused
heart is flying?

i wouldn't know,
isn't it strange
how you're finally
loving yourself
after
losing something
that helped make
you who you are
today?

Is it too much to ask to be
a dear friend and slap me in the face
and whisper a shout by saying,
"Dreaming away your life!"

We could
run through the woods,
find vacant waterfalls;
Explore
the rocks and
wildflowers.
Then I'd wonder 'round
with my mouth,
exploring all the places
I'd memorize
that make you shiver.

We could
run away together,
wherever you want to.
Maybe
the city of an apple,
maybe
just another small town.

We could
get lost in a small
apartment,
walking down
Broadway Street.
Spending the nights
in cramped and
smoke filled places,
singing soft grunge
until you are found
for the star
I have noticed
that you are.

We could
cruise down the
Boulevards of Hollywood.
Your hand on my thigh,
the wind in my hair.
Smoking rolled up
cigarettes made of
the earth's green nectar,
feelin' like
I don't have to hide
behind my silly
disguise.

Just tell me all you
want to do,
and I will want to
do it too.
Everything,
only for you.

She
lays in bed
and
she
touches
herself,
but not
in the way
you think.

She
breathes in
and feels
her
collarbone
and
she
smiles bright.

In the
right position,
she
can feel
the hipbone
that
he(s)
never want
to call
home.

She
stops with
a quivering
hand,
doesn't
want to
go any
farther.

So
she
rolls over
and stares
vacantly
at a
wall that
holds
her
darkest secrets.

Just another
reason
sHe
will be
alone
forever.

Expect to
be shown off like
a firework against
the darkest of nights.

My mind's a
little messy.
It has waves that
go up and down,
side to side.
A life jacket is
sold separately.

My eyes do
wander from time
to time,
but dont expect
to be safe
if yours do
the same.

I cry.
I cry a lot,
just not lately.
But if you
take a shot on the
heart of mine,
I will cry.

I will cry when
I don't get my way,
I will cry even
because it's
a sunny day.

But I love,
I love so fiercely.
You would
never have to
ask, wonder
or question it.

My love shines brightly,
my love shines faithfully.

Just don't
be surprised
to find,
when the love
you think is gone,
will always be
here all along.

unfortunately
i wont be packing my bags to leave
no matter what you
do to me.
i'm better
than that and now
i know i'm better
than you.
to judge is to
be innocent,
but do you think
what you do with
everyone's knowledge
makes you
silky clean?

i compare you to art a lot
because well,
you are art.
does anyone else list you under
that same impression?
that must feel swell.

Maybe one day
i will write these down
on the paper of a notebook,
wrap it up
in colorful paper and
give it to you,
maybe with a bag
of chewy colors too.
Would it feel
nice to know how
much you could make
someone feel?
Would you let
everyone see what
you started meaning to me?
Would you make
a big deal
out of the real?
Would you just be
too embarrassed to
let anyone see
less alone read?
Or maybe
you would have
wished i'd said
something sooner,
would've brought forth
a spectacular
lunar.
Who knows.
But by that time,
i'll be long gone
after saving every dime.
It'll feel nice
to know someone
will always care.

i don't love-love you anymore,
but i do love you.
does that make sense?

It goes like this:

Coke,
Blue raspberry,
Red raspberry.

Repeat
until it's filled
to the top.

But when I
get to the bottom,
if found the courage
to ask,
would you warm
my cold hands
with the heat radiating
off of your heart?

Like the current
in the ocean,
soft spoken words
crash against
the bone tough
cliff.

Like a buried treasure
one turn from being released,
you're on the verge
of opening me.

I don't know why
I let myself get this way
in such futile games
I partake in
and love to play.

If I had
longer hair,
would you ask for
my number?

If I was
a little prettier
would you be
kinder?

If I was
a little thinner,
would you
stay the night?


Be careful.


Once that treasure
opens up,
the gold will float
to the top.

Shinning
and gleaming
from the rays beaming
out of your
godly halo,




from the depths
of my sunken
heart.

never trust boys with
long perfect hair and
constant red and stary eyed.
just trust me,
they laugh when you
have cried.

I didn't go through
all the pain
for it to not mean
a dam thing.

This one
means i love
myself for everything
that i was told to hate.

This one
is for the way
it was easy for you
to break my heart.

This one
is because
a lyric taught me
everything good in life
dies,
even my favorite
things that are blue.

This one
is because i
root myself in
everything that i have
loved and had the chance
to touch.

It might
not be beautiful
to you,
but my body
is
***-king
art.

You smile so nice,
i don't really have to think twice.
You make me feel
all these feelings that
boys like you don't really feel.
Do I really like you
or
is it just your *** appeal?
Or maybe,
just maybe,
i seen
that look i've become
all too familiar with.
Maybe it's just a mask
i'm wearing
or maybe
im just tripping,
and i do want to know
your mind,
your soul,
everything you like,
everything you don't.
Who
really
knows,
know?

could've been my
muse,
maybe brought my soul
together with your
f  u  s  i  o  n
probably not,
it was just a joke to you,
something amusing.

life
imitates
art
imitates
life
imitates
art

Are you not
gonna stick around?
Come back.
Sit down.
Let's chat.
Sorry
that you like
to accuse me of
everything that was
bad.
Come.
Now you can
sing me one of those
made up songs.
You know,
the one's about me
doing you so wrong.
Do
they know your
side of the story
or
do they know the
whole thing in all it's
glory?
It's okay,
You can take your time.
You don't have
to ask any questions.
And I won't explain why
your eye for an eye
is to be looked at and treated
any differently to mine.

Are these just words
or are they for real?
I don't know,
Maybe I'm just trying
to find a new career.