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 Jan 2017 BiancaBeltran
BlueRain
Sometimes I wish I were dead
Locked in a wooden cage and buried six feet under
Just so I wouldn't have to feel.
Or deal with the reality before me
Sometimes I wish my heart could be ripped out &
shattered to pieces before my eyes
To reflect the shattering I feel on the inside.
Sometimes I wish I would stop feeling...

These tears that fall
Are seen as a sign of weakness
But what these tears are
Are a testament of hardships;
Of trying times only the Bravest could survive

These tears
Are a reflection of the open wounds
that still pulsate
Desiring care and healing
But are instead seared open,
& made to bleed all over again.
          Welcome to my heart...*                      

*#BlueRain
2017
Alone, she floats aimlessly in the ocean's waves.
Lost, she has no sense of direction.
Gone, are her hopes and dreams; they've been washed away and pulled to sea.
Quiet, are the tears she cries; they're salty just like the ocean.
Her friend, Water, takes care of her; protecting her from the dangers of the land world.

She is safe when she is lost.
She is better off when she is alone.
She is calm when she has nothing to live for.
She is happy wheb she cries tears of loneliness...

But she doesn't want to be safe or calm.
She breaks through the surface of the water and steps onto the shore...

And is finally **Free
North
East
South
West
It does not matter on a sphere.
The faster,
          The harder,
                   The longer,
you run- may take you far...
but then near.
Quick write! Feel free to comment/critique!
Nothing could stop their tears from flowing.

How could things be alright in the world if two little girl's daddy was gone? If daddy is gone, who will walk them down the isle? Or intimidate the boys who come over to meet him?

Or the son whose death leaves his mother and father empty; dying slowly more everyday.

The brother would said, "Me and you, sis. We'll grow old and raise our kids together."

The uncle and godfather that will never be seen again.

The family that was broken, will take forever to heal. The pain won't ever go away and they'll never get used to him being gone, but they'll learn to live with it. Live with the pain of not seeing that beautiful face everyday, with that dazzling smile.

Even though the man who tore the family apart will now be punished for his crime, it still won't bring their departed back.

******* they wish it did.

The only thing that killer's family will lose is a little time. They can still talk, feel, and touch him, but the other family can't. They've lost him forever in their natural lives.

They'll have to wait what feels like an eternity to see him once again.
My family has been through a very tramatic 2-3 years dealing with my uncle/godfather's death. His "killer" has finally been proven guilty for the death of him and is going away for 29 years, dealt heavy fines and will never be able to drive again because of all his recklessness as a driver. Kevin Botta died January 7, 2011. My family and I miss him dearly. He left behind 2 beautiful daughters. I love you so much Kevin. <3 Rest in peace big guy.
The words, "I'm leaving" hurt to hear,
My heart breaks even more with every tear.

Goodbye is something no one should ever say,
Or replying that you're fine, when nothing's okay.

Don't leave me sweetie, I don't know what to do,
Without you here, my world will turn blue...

But then again, I'm being selfish and care-free,
How can I expect you to stay if we can never be?

I love you my darling and don't ever forget,
The day we first met...
And stole glances during sunset...

Please do not ever let this slip your mind...
You'll Always Have My *Name
"It hurts more than a bullet through my heart...torn, ripped, and split apart.
I have given the cards I have been dealt...even if it means giving up what I've felt.
True love comes from the heart...nothing can take it apart.
Even if this world puts up things to block us from being together...you know deep down in your heart that you are mine and I am your treasure...so think of me on a rainy day to change the weather...."
-A.G.K.
(I love you forever)
They lurk into your bedroom at night…
Terrorize and give much fright.
Sometimes they’re evil and wish you pain,
Wreaking havoc so that you’ll never be the same.
You can hear the menacing laughs, cackling throughout the house,
And the unlucky victim of somebody’s spouse.
The ****** comes and the monster is reaching for the ****,
You’re scared to death, but everything around you is still.
Breath is heavy, heart is pounding,
The monsters find you and are now surrounding.
They reach out, trying to touch your skin,
You wake up suddenly, realizing what could have been.
But it was only your dream, my dear,
And you have only your imagination to fear.
It finally happpened!
I've become friends with the impossible!
The poor girl still doesn't know how I wish I was her.
We are now friends, and talk regularly.
My goal has been reached, so now I need A further one. A risky one...
And so for now my envy
Has been quenched....
But not for *long
To whomever read my work frequently, you might know of a sort of "obsession" I might have with this girl I know. Well, I thought I'd just tell everyone that I am finally friends with her and I'm working my way up the friendly scale! I'm no longer so crazy! This Record is being Fixed! The Green Monster is Going Away!
I feel as though I am just going through the motions. Silently, but annoyingly, repeating the same routine everyday. I am starting to feel sad. Incomplete. I don't know. I just am upset. Feeling as though I am unimportant and invisible. You know, just how thousands of other teens feel everyday. The same exact way.
You call yourself a friend?
Friends don't talk behind your back.
Friends aren't selfis.
And friends certainly don't bully each other.
And I'm sorry if our friendship has to end, but it was fun while it lasted.
I'll love you endlessly, but I have to take a stand and defend myself.
I'm tired of being your punchingbag.
I'm sick of you always pointing out my flaws.
I never talk about you, I never say anything mean,
so why do you feel the need to hurt me.
Everyday, it worsens and worsens, to the point where I want to cry every night I get home.
So I'm so sorry if things take a turn for the worse,
but you were suppose to be my friend.
I guess you were never a true friend.
Jealousy. Envy. I am the Green Monster.

These are the things I feel and that of which consumes me.
They are running my life..and...It's getting out of control.
I wish to be her. Just like her.

Her beauty.
Her personality.
Her qualities....
I want them all.

But then again, I wouldn't be me, myself anymore.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't really like me at all.
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