Control is an ism
A psychological mechanism
That binds you to whatever it wants you to do
As long as you lack the inability
To see responsibility
As anything other than someone else telling you what to do
You lose
Trying to prove you're in control is a losing game
Because the only thing you truly control
Is the fact that you refuse to change

If I could sing u a song
I would sing you my soul
Of all the women
In all the houses
There is no doubt that this is my home
This is where I want to be
And this is where I belong
She can spend all day
And offer all she likes
But if she aint you
Then she aint my type
You see
I like strong women like
Phenomenal women like
Black women like you
While there exists this cynicism among sistas
That all the good black men are taken
It’s just untrue
Because I’m standing right here
And I’ve been waiting on you
You don’t know it yet but you've been waiting on me
That thing that you wrote in your diary God let me see
So while I may seem unfamiliar when you look at me
The only thing I see when I look at you is destiny

I know my heart has lied before
But now it speaks truth
Ways of life brought forth by changes made to heal the places I’ve been hurt the most
In essence my very being was being tested
By the sweetest effervescent
Intertwining my soul with a spirit not of my own
Feelings of pleasure my heart has never known
Endless emotions with my minds thoughts driven like waves in the ocean
But I ignored them

Comfort exists within these walls of isolation
Safety and insulation from outside infiltration makes for quiet and peace
Providing silence to the noise distracting us from being who we really are
Perceptions and other peoples expectations for how we ought to be
How we ought to act
How we ought to believe
It all does nothing but weigh us down
Nice guys become ******* when they're tired of being pushed around

All my life I've dreamed of meeting a love designed with no lies
No deceptions
A love made alive
Made just for me
Once I found this charity I'd cherish for all of eternity
But life didn't seem to dream the same manner as me
Then just as I gave up looking for love
A greater love found me
Caught off guard it touched my heart
It softened something that once was hardened
My eyes became blurry
My arms wouldn't move
I couldn't fathom the words that came from my lips
It felt as though an angel came from heaven and gave my soul a kiss

Public speaking no thank you I'll pass
The thought of being an orator makes me laugh...hysterically
Undoubtedly
Even if I wanted to speak publicly
My body wouldn't allow me
I think my voice would disappear and my tongue would atrophy

How do you deal with the after effects
After tragedy lights a match
And blows your entire life into pieces
The anger and sadness you feel
As you hurt and yearn for the thing you loved so dear
Embracing pain is a deep revelation
A manifestation of meeting emotions
Tugging at your heart strings
Hollowed screams
Whispering
Offering stillness
To quiet your broken lamenting heart

I’m standing
Waiting for my big break
Faithfully
Waiting for fate
To meet me
At this crossroads of clarity
Waiting while I bear my cross barely
Giving all that I’ve got
My soul's ready to give in
Closed door after closed door
Rejection from there to here
Down my cheek
Streams the first of many tears
I wonder if fate even knows I'm here

Thoughts
Mindless texts
Posts ending with emojis and hashtags
Billions of words randomly tweeted out
Ideas and conceptions
Time and space attaching themselves to certain perceptions
Relevancy belongs to truth being spoken through reality and fantasy