Memories I’ve suppressed for years are creeping up again
No wonder I’m like this
Sometimes I feel I won’t be missed
Do I want to be?

We're suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids suicide is not the answer.

I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Without him
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.

Now read from bottom to top.

the warmest kiss from the softest lips.
the finger tips tracing stars on my hips.
the sweetest song of my name he'd sing.
my angel boy with a severed wing.
i have mended the wing, he has risen from the fall.
now he is but only a memory i wish to never recall.

you wake up
his hair is spilled across the pillow,
the sun slants across his cheekbone
and his breath is slow and even.
he smells like an open field
and his body is wrapped around yours
so he keeps you warm.
you think,
there is no moment better than this,
that he is too perfect to exist.
but you wake up gasping,
skin soaked in sweat.
you lie there for a long time,
in your completely empty bed.