I understand the cutter.
Loving you is
My self-harm.

I want fireworks
Not the "yeah, I like her I guess"
I want explosions in the sky
That thunderous boom
that reverberates for blocks
the array of spark and color
Illumination that captivates the eyes.

Is fireworks too much to ask
In this, "You're an adult now?" world
Is there no more magic left
To dazzle when we first meet
To consume the surrounding energy
In a explosive fusion of simpatico
Other needs ignored as we fuse

I want to be her fireworks
I want to be the blinding shock of light
That wows and captivates her eyes
I want to walk and talk and laugh and cry
I want to hurt when we have to go apart
I want longing to measure the moments away

I am bored if not for fireworks
Why bother with a boring rock
Just because it is already laying nearby.
I want a comet
A conflagration hurling toward the earth.
If she is not a shooting star
Then what is there to chase?

Or I want nothing at all
Life is awash already
with love, passion, and light
every time I open my eyes and look
So if a me and a her is going to become a we
I'm gazing out searching for colored washed skies
I want fireworks.

Do you know you make me sparkle?
When your name is in my notifications.
When I see you in a crowd of people.
Whenever you cross my mind.

Fizzy, bubbling up from inside.
Each time I watch you smile
Each time that we converse.
Each time you cross my mind.

Effervescent excitement
Charming with your brilliant mind.
Charming with your soul's vibrancy.
Charming as you cross my mind.

Do you know you make me sparkle?

Must love rollercoasters. I mean not exactly roller coaster per se; although actual roller coasters would be a bonus. I am a marginal enthusiast.  I mean you should have that kind of attitude and vigor for life and new adventures. Rollercoaster lovers are committed to experiences over things.

Must love books, movies, museums, the outdoors, and live theatre. I want to sit in a room and read with you, and too you. I want to glance up and catch your face the moment it just enlivens, inspired by the joy of brilliant writing. I want to nestle close alongside you and share the electric energy that passes between the stage players and their audience both as they present and as we process afterward. I want to watch a movie, and discuss ourselves to exhaustion and collapse into each other. I want to experience art and history together and watch the aliveness the great humanities use to enlighten our mindfulness to the magic of living experience.  I want to cuddle up alongside you by a fire, my arms wrapped around you,  our bodies sore from hiking the splendor of a forest trail.

Must have beautiful eyes; but then beautiful souls always have beautiful eyes, because it is the eyes that reflect  most honestly the inner essence of the soul.  Must be passionate about politics, religion, pop-culture,  justice and the planet. That passion always shimmers when you peer deeply into beautiful eyes.  You are the kind of woman who knows we have only one life to live in our time on earth and you plan to maximize it with mirth and  

In return, I will spoil you with with words and pour affection on your body. I will look deeply inside those eyes every opportunity I have to gaze. I will cover you in kisses so every inch of you knows how you excite every inch of me. I will kindle that shared passion for the extravagance of human experience. I will cultivate the planting  of our sapling romance till it blossoms into the love I want to give and share.

If you are that kind of woman, reach out to me. I am the kind of guy who's looking to fall in love with someone like you.

Deep Inside You
Every bit of me
Filling every bit of you
in this act of ***.

Deep inside you
Every bit of me
Wishing it was the all of you
and not just your ***.

Shards cascade down
As the momentum of now
shatters through.

Teaching the eyes to shift
To relax and see the world differently
To observe the world not through
Tired shapes we're conditioned by
But to change the observation
To recognize the realities
Our experiences have clouded

Quantum theory accepts that
There is more than matter
Composed of particles
The observable though easy
Is too simple for the complexity of reality

The underlayment of reality
Is  waves of energy
Rising and falling through
Time and space
The 4 dimensions of life
Can be cataloged and understood
But is woeful understatement
To the depth of mystery
If we are willing to observe

Nothing in the universe
Can be predicted with precision
No outcome predetermined
Only the frightening sum of
Infinite chaos systemized to
Appear comprehensible.
All we can predict is probability
Banking our future on possibility.

So then how do I exists
In these two states
Seemingly so far apart
Yet muddled by entanglement
How do I both long for
The possibility of seeming greatness
And cower in the fear of those unknowns.

There is no quantum vision
Only hope and action
And corrective lenses when
Our myopia prevents
Us from seeing the beauty
That is just a single look away.

Can I whisper words
for just your ears
Words that will remain
only between us?

Can I tell you secrets
and know they are safe?
Secrets for you and me only
Safe because they are ours.

Will you veil my speaking
protect it hidden inside you
Shielded from the rivalries
of the explicit and unconcealed?

Will you accept my parlance
Though my reasons appear abstruse?
Listen not with conspiratorial ears
at the revealing of this confession.

I place my hand inside your hand
I need to feel you hold me tight
Our fingers interlocking
As a tether between our hearts.

I place my hope inside this trust
I need to be grounded
Trusting in our rooted past
to untangle this Gordian knot.

I know the risks
and think you're worth them.

You may cost me
a broken heart before this is over.