Why is it that at the end of the story
You are considered amazing
When you have done nothing for yourself?
I say you're full of it
Dear Distressed Damsel,
If you're distressed
Why don't you de-stress yourself
Save yourself from the tower
Or whatever problem
It may be that you've gotten into that day
Because all you are is a façade
Playing the victim card
Dear Distressed Damsel,
Get the hell over it

Once upon a time
In the fairest land
Of New Jersey
At a royal wedding
The now royal niece met
The hired photo booth runner
And his name was Nick
Now Nick did not know what was occurring
He thought she loved cameras
She went with her sister and grandmother
Then just her grandmother
Then only her sister
He friend would contact her
On the fanciest slide phone
And to avoid looking rude
She'd stand next to the table
Right near the booth
Finally with her brother
She talked and he talked
They laughed and joked
About how she should get him fired
For interacting with clients
As it was forbidden
He claimed he would travel
Across the country
To the kingdom
Of Washington
For her wedding in a year or so
She chuckled covertly
Revealing her age
Only to find he was twenty
He thought it was funny
And called her cute
So she gave her phone number away
When really she should've have gone
With her Instagram name
Near the end of the event
She invited him to the dance floor
For the most regal song of all
"Don't Stop Believing"
After those five minutes she assisted him
In the packing of his equipment
And they parted ways
Never to speak again
Both leaving
Dumbly happy
The End

I realize
That not all men
****

That not all men
Beat

That not all men
Brutalize

That not all men
Leave

That not all men
Are destructive

But it's enough men
For me to be scared
Of all men

Señor Garcia Marquez
Whatever did you mean
When you wrote of life
And of death by family
I'm in love with
Prudencio Aguilar's ghost
Roaming about the Buendía household
Hole in his throat
Washing out the wound
But what did you mean?!
I'm in love with
Do it yourself chastity belts
And Ursula's fear of ***
But why is this even a theory
Your concept behind biracial inbreeding
And Señor do not get me started
On Melquíades and José Arcadio Buendía
Because that friendship was
Fated to be doomed
I mean no disrespect in all this
I just want to know
Why use Macondo as an allegory
For the Angel Gabriel
You're genius, really
But your run on paragraphs
Infuriate every ounce of my writing soul
You're a Columbian Tolstoy
I mean that as no insult
Your works are tremendous and outstanding
But what am I doing
You're now just an old dead man
"Under the ground"
So now I belong to figure out
Why Pilar needs to fill a void
Opened by a ******
And why Colonel Aureliano Buendía
Thinks of his fond memory of ice
Just before being killed
I've paid my respects to your work
Please pay respects to my search

I am a minor miner girl
Living in a go and get 'em world
We come in by the dozens
And I think you all know how this story goes
I try to please everyone around me
Forgetting what's important
And as we all know that isn't the best
I should use my mind more often
To guard my sooty heart
All you other minor miner girls know what I'm saying
But I love and I love and I love
Never stopping to think of the consequences
Sure to follow
I just dive in heart first hoping to not hit the ground
And minor miner girls you know it's true
We try so **** hard
And we always fall
Straight on through to the hellish pain that awaits
I'm sorry if I upset you
My dear fellow minor miner girls
But we need to grow up
And we need to exhibit some sort of conceit
Not to the point of egotism and bigotry
Just to the point of safety
To the point where we aren't always stepped on
And can roll in the Major Miner Girls league
I love you all
Because that's who I am
But as by unspoken and now finally written law
We minor miner girls abide by
I'm still learning to love myself
So minor miner girls
Raise your pickaxes and your shovels
Toss off your hardhats
Because we are about to rumble with
The world outside our mine
We will be
Major Miner Girls

Everyone can afford dreams
But I was the biggest shopper
Shoving condos and benzes into my cart
No cashier at the exit to demand payment

I picked lavish expensive charms
Had no worries about pennies
Everything was costless
Blessings from the gods

I was younger then I grew a little older
I kept shopping for expensive dreams
With time I encountered little snags
I couldnt get out of the mall with my immense goods

So I bargained with my conscience
Drop this and pick that
What was lighter I thought was better
So I chose those that were easier

Years went by and I learnt lessons little by little
A sister had shopped for the Whitehouse
And arrived home with a highschool
The question is can you carry what you pick?

A friend had shopped for the most
Yet arrived home with the least
So I selected the lightest
But when I packed, my car wouldn't budge

I further reduced my pricey costless goods
Albeit grudgingly,promising myself
I would come back for them
But **** there are no second rounds

As I grew older and older
I found myself driving home
With only a few of those costless goods
They were not even the biggest and priciest

They were what I could carry
Every time I stop by that dream shop
To do some window shopping
And say I wish