And there we were dancing with the stars ,how we always did
Knowing in the depth of our hearts
That we will drift apart ,how we always did
But how tragically lovely it is to know , you still love me
How you always did

Divine love, Yet the wrong shrine
Abundance of promises, Yet each one a lie
Golden sunsets, Yet bled into a dark sky
Regretful end, Yet an epic storyline
Had you, Yet no part was ever mine

“the simplest definition of our learning to count to infinity”

wrote those words
to a stranger in pain, awful pain,
asking him to count his blessings

now awful pain
no stranger to me

a pain four decades long,
that the surgeon promised was fully excised.

but today was triggered,
chest pain dagger ingredient emergency room

so I am counting for,
but not to,
counting on

infinity

when the wounding cannot be recalled,
only a minor scar to struggle from wonder whence
came it from

which is the definition of reaching the
infinity place,
where finite comes to rest

And grief had chewed its way through my skin
Ripping the walls I had tirelessly built apart
I was dying , simply because you had died too

I wanted to glue every part of me to you
And dance with the devil you had become
I wanted to feed off the pain in your eyes
As you cried rivers of bloom
I wanted to be your spring
An everlasting flower loitered with thorns
I wanted to feel the beat in your chest
And match it's rhythm to mine
I wanted to be yours in every form of the word
I wanted to paint onto the blankness of your canvas
And ruin the innocence dancing on your tongue
I wanted to burn the engravings of my name on the nape of your neck
I wanted to kiss at the scars I made
I wanted to caress the coral on your cheeks
And watch your smile fade into pleasure
I wanted you to want every burden bruising your shoulders
I wanted you to fade into the distant thoughts of others
Yet vividly lust at the thought of being mine
I wanted you to be mine
I wanted you to cradle at my yearning
And feel all that I feel for you
I wanted you
I wanted to graze my teeth on the layers of your skin
And read between the creases of you eyes
I wanted to learn every twitch of your thumb
And trace it's skin on my lips
I wanted to drown in your abyss
I wanted every single piece hidden within the creases of your eye
As your face creased with a smile
I wanted you to be mine , feel like mine , dream like mine , word like mine , walk like mine but with that unjustly sinking feeling I drown in the realisation that you could never be mine