I am getting close
Still, I slip and slide and fall
Still, I freeze and stall

For a while I tried,
I tried to be who I was
Before all the lies

For a while I tried
To destroy my hated parts
To cut, rip, and tear

I begin to learn
To accept these parts of me
They are not the whole

I've begun to learn
And I will fight and claw and crawl
I am getting close.

My life is a cage
I think your heart is my key
But, I can be foolish

My life is a chain
And you were meant to be free
Yet, I am selfish

My life is my own
Nothing will stop my success
I CAN bend these bars.

Still I will wonder
Is it wrong to feed the spark
Will it go too far?

Just because I can,
I CAN survive on my own
Should I be alone?

Would true strength not be
The strength to follow my heart
The strength to be free.

In chasing down the
answers and striving to be
your best, I say please
remember the earth below your feet
while gazing at the mountain peak.

For work I shave and
I hide behind a forced smile
Is this mask enough?

Why are they staring
Can they tell I hide my pain
I am struggling.

I return home and
I stare into the mirror
who is staring back?

I won't lie, I'm scared.
I'm afraid you won't get it
Or won't even care.

What do you do if
There is a stranger when you
Look in the mirror

When you take a walk
Afraid the entire time that
Someone's behind you

Live your first 19
Years in denial, confused.
Lying to yourself

When someone hurt you.
As a little boy, someone,
Took something from you

All you can do is,
Keep looking forward and up.
But it can be hard

To come to terms with,
"I am still me, not broken,"
When I don't feel right

Sometimes I get stuck,
Sometimes moments pass me by.
Sometimes I'm just numb.

Why...

Are people staring?
Do I look different to them?
I've done nothing wrong

It's not every day.
I've learned I am in control.
I can be stronger

I am in charge of,
My happiness and my life.
I'm ready to grow.

I will not settle.
I will own my life today.
If I fall, I fall.

But I will always,
Get back up and face the day,
As long as I live.

I am like an owl.
Too much focused energy,
Try to see it all.

You are like a cat.
Piercing eyes and elusive.
You are warm, but stoic.

We are like turtles.
We have our safe place, hard shells.
Moving slow, cautious.

Time is so obscure.
Panic as the minutes pass,
Panic as they crawl.

Life is like the sea.
Hidden currents pull and push.
Try to ride the waves.

Your consciousness is,
Your own sail boat, a bubble.
Everything you are.

When two bubbles meet,
They may merge, become bigger.
One may pop, or both.

Life continues on.
Whether you march or sit still,
Your time will run out.

But this is your time.
It's not wrong to put self first.
Love radiates out.

Clear your eyes, mind, heart.
Find serenity and strength.
It won't be easy.

Watch how you feel and,
Learn who you are in this moment.
You are in control.

Learn and love yourself,
And every action you take
Will be genuine.

Every desire,
Every want or need or hope,
Is within your reach.

You sit in a crowd,
Even still you are alone.
Outside their bubbles.

Neatly trimmed hedges
Expensive cars and houses
Neighbors sleep outside

Ice cold winds blow through
Ashland, city of wonders
You wear a thick coat

Walking past clusters
Of less fortunate people
They are just background

"Not always their fault,"
"They're human," "it could be you."
Inconceivable

Walking past hunger,
You spend fifty bucks on lunch.
Insignificant

For you the world is,
Nothing more than what you see.
Sad, not uncommon.

The sun starts to rise
The birds are chirping outside
Finally I sleep