I went home.
Body swore
from you slamming into me.
Gliding my hands
over the cactus,
******
become another face
that forgot.
Summer melted away while
friendships froze,
just as they said.
Sticky fingers
placing prints on new skin.
Everything diseased.
Crossed legs;
bottle of whiskey,
face dripping
with battle wounds
from a war like storm.
We should have broken the mirrors.

Stand in the street.
Four hours of Wednesday
marking me with gray bags
on my not so innocent teenage face
and tears painted across my forearms.
A canvas.

Letting candle wax
burn my crooked skin,
cigarettes are sewn together
one by one.  

Sloppy handshakes,
cold coffee.

It's covered my toes now.

A piece of art
is never finished
though.

So what am I becoming?

be not what you want to be perceived as
but what you want to accomplish

don't ask for someone to hold your hand
because you have two
so, hold your own

listen to music that elates your soul

go to places that are extraordinary
meet people who open your eyes
and thank them

eat citrus
constantly

do what makes you happy
surround yourself with things that are conducive to your happiness

and if you have a bad past
dont bother looking back

and if this meant nothing to you
dont listen to a word I say

To me it feels like a worm
Wiggling its way
Through my bloodstream,
Making it icy and cold
And my heart turn
To frigid emotion.

It makes its way into my
Mind,
Slowing the thoughts
In some parts,
But giving the other parts,
The nervous parts,
The parts that hyperventilate
And have panic attacks,
Caffiene.

Breathing gets hard
Because
I'm underwater,
Or underground.
Buried alive,
Or sinking slowly.

I.
Can't.
Breathe.

The worm,
The worst part about the worm?
It feeds on my life.

I promise not to put you on the pedestal
that my parents put me on

I promise to love you unconditionally and accept whoever you are
as my parents didn't

I promise to exceed your expectations and **** myself to make you happy
as my parents don't

I promise to set a reasonable precedent, one that's equal to what we're capable of
as my parents didn't

I promise that you exist because I thought the world would be a better place with you
as my parents selfishly conceived me out of sorrow

I promise to celebrate every birthday with you and bring you breakfast in bed
as my parents left me waiting at school

I promise that I had you tested in the womb to ensure that you're healthy
as my parents didn't, because I'm sick in the head and in the body

I promise to expose you to every continent
as I am confined to this city

I promise to send you to private school only
as my parents sent me to terrible schools

I promise to make sure that you never write a list like this

I promise that I will never break these promises

I promise that your existence means something
as my meaning remains unknown

I promise that you will never feel the daggers I feel, as a result of my parents' negligence

I promise that if you ever feel alone or depressed or left behind or suicidal
I will empathize

Because this pain
is unbearable

And I promise
to NEVER inflict the life I've had
upon an innocent human being

I've always hated my birthday

Yeah, I'm reaaally tipsy

And you know what?
That's alright.
That's perfectly fine.
'Cause I've got all these scars
Which I can't stop
Re-examining
Over and over again

It's routine to me, by now

This is less polished than the other poems
Maybe cause I don't even bother
With re-reading this piece
I want it to be brash
Honest

Just like me
All tears,
Jagged edges
Hurt and pain
All over
Just like me

I hate the sound of silence
So I've got music blasting
Away on earphones

(Makes it a little easier
to welcome the light
in the morning)

But
That's all cool
That's perfect

I am going to be fine

A year less to live
But it's alright
Let's raise a toast to that

He held her while she shook; violently, terrified.
When the shaking ceased she stood still as stone, and waited for the tears to fall,
but when the tears didn’t fall,
and the earth began to shift she walked on.
Pushing the arms that had held her through the fight, she pushed forward as her world fell back.
The darkness grew and the cold became bitter, and she walked on alone,
because lonely was all she ever knew.