Eyes glazed like poetry, the kiln of my
Heart turning what once was soft fragile
Painted in what was a shadow of what
Was once bright now oxidized on.

This vessel holds the ashes of what I used
To be, before you did that threw me in
The fires of sorrow and despair,
I was once a flower fresh and free.

Now I am but a glazed reminisce of what
Once was a kiln burnt heart ash where a
Heart was meant to always beat.

When the girl, I loved, died,
I locked myself in her room
while her parents were in Arizona.

I went through her things
and found
**** photos;
A few where she seemed
ashamed
and a few where she
liked her body.
She had a gummy smile
and in others
she looked down at her *******
while having a blank expression.

I found empty
alcohol bottles.
Cheap bottles of wine
and a bottle of red,
stuffed with tissue paper.

Under her dresser
I found an unopened
letter she intended to
give the boyfriend before me,
where she admitted
to being ***** as a teenager
and how she hoped
it wasn't too much
baggage.

I threw out the photos
and
alcohol bottles,
but not the letter.

I don't know why but I kept it.
I occasionally read it,
because it's her,
and I love her.

I told my friend
and he called me a
Halomaker,
because I made sure
she was remembered
as an angel.

my wrists still hurt more from your rough hands
pinning me to the floor,
than anything I've ever done to them before.

my head still aches more from screaming,
rather than by an old concussion lingering.

my eyes still cry and leak over,
but I'm not sure why anymore.

But as long as it's don't ask, don't tell,
I'll be fine.

That girl in your class
She laughs
She has a smile that lights up
An entire room.

That girl in your class,
She has great grades,
She doesn't even have to try.

That girl in your class,
She has seemingly amazing friends,
Who care about her.

That girl in your class,
She has scars,
Lines marking her body,
And friends that don't notice,
And some that don't care.

That girl in your class,
Doesn't remember
What's like to not cry,
She cries herself to sleep
Every night.

But hey, she smiles,
So she's okay.
Right?