The burning flames of pain lick at my scorched and fragile soul, I fear that one more heartbreak will leave it crumbling into ashes.
My heart welcomes despair with open arms, he tells me all the things I don't want to hear.
Tells me all the truths I run from during the day, but I cannot escape them as the sun goes down.
They scrape at me, scratching incessantly at my delicate soul, they coat me with their words, their bitter carefully selected truth that I cannot tune out.
Death becomes more appealing, why should I not end my suffering and give in to the sweet caress of misery?
Giving up has never seemed more alluring than it does at 2 am. It seduces me with promises of peace and silence.
Silence from the voices that are constantly screaming at me. I cannot drown them out, their echoes are deafening in my ears. Haunting, they are all I can hear.
Despair is my constant companion, whispering in my ear. Hope helps me tune him out and quiet the hurting. Hope continues to save me, hope is all that I can cling to when the world gets too dark to pretend that I am normal.
I will never be normal, I do not know how to be happy. My self hate chokes me, the pressure of being alive is a constant weight on my chest. I will never escape this.
But hope is there to soothe me, telling me all will be okay even if I know deep down I will not be. Hope chases away the attraction of death, for one more day.
I fear for the day that death becomes too enticing to ignore,
for now hope drives it away, leaving the dull aching and the desperate wanting to be gone.
since so many people are taking this the wrong way, disclaimer: this is not a suicide note. this is my way to cope with some of my darkest thoughts and share that there is always hope and that is something I cling desperately.