I wanted to write
write the world for you
my words could be shields
or maybe just blankets
enveloping you into warmth

they can taunt you
beg you to live to your potential
because they know
and I know
you deserve the world and all the cordial
words that enter your mind

So
when you close your eyes
and you see those words
feel them with every intake of air
your lungs can muster,

I hope
all you can think about

is me

will you allow those salty waterfalls to havoc your face?
will you allow bullets to strike within?

I know a boy
who never allowed a thing
to navigate his soul

on a summer evening
with not a voice to burrow in his thoughts

the tears
the heart
became to much
like a broken road
he was bound to hit a bump

lost control
oblivious to everything around
I wished he could have been found
long ago

My brother told me
you would have not let any of it happen
you would stand tall
guard my every step

its the middle of may
just another month
we embark the day
you lost your way

when i close my eyes
all i see is darkness
i can no longer
make out your face

your voice
was it rough
or was it soft
on the ears

I don't know
and I don't know if you would stand up for me
why
because
I cant even
remember the way you held my shaky hands

i can compare his absence to anything
but the fact of the matter is he is gone
he's dead
my father is dead
and everything i do
the amount of times I try to explore the world
A new crack shatters my skin
I was never prepared to move on
so
your judgmental eyes
lips moving fast

don't you understand
I'll never be able to match your stride
I'll never move on

I wish you could understand

a cool breeze
miles of sand to herself
why would she ask
to be not alone
people, things, crowded her

like unnecessary clothes worn in the peak of summer
she was already hot
itching to shed her skin
but she knew
beneath everything
an ugly her existed

and if they saw

the skin she built would not shine
no
not anymore
she couldn't risk losing
everything she knew

am I trash to you?
because at 3 am when the moon is at its highest peak
the white noise is breaking down my walls
my throat is raw
screams shatter the pillow, beneath my tear stained cheeks

I wonder
what it would be like to be with you
to hear your unsure words
see those crystal eyes meet mine

but it's 3 am
and I'm alone
And I know the answer