You are witnessing a prodigious talent and promise, and to a lesser extent but still to the degree whereby it should keep you awake at night writhing in cold sweats, your life, slip agonisingly through your open and clammy palms. Promise means so little if not actualised. You have been granted chance after warning after fortuitous escape yet have blithely spurned every omen and will one day fall, swiftly and perhaps terminally. You are almost certainly depressed. You say you love your girlfriend, and you mean it wholeheartedly when you do, but you worry that the relationship perpetuates as without her there would be no reason to rise with the sun. Even if the relationship is  unstable, and at times verging on the unhealthy, you believe you love her but are too great a coward to consider decisive action if that belief is to reside or subside. Your friends range from kind and honest yet deeply flawed to somehow toeing an inextricably thin line between dependability and duplicitousness. Conversations with a certain few of your friends necessitate decrying every undercooked ethos you've every conned yourself into believing you hold (you could well be the most hypocritical liberal to walk the earth, for you are innately and irrepressibly selfish) yet you still nod placidly as your conscience squirms. Grotesquely, like a beaten spouse, you crave the gaze of those who have treated you with the most insulting derision, but are too proud (of what?) and, a running theme, too cowardly, to stoop to a simple detante. You must change, for it pains you on a most base level to have to accept the feeble, whimpering, simpering spectre you have become. You must be bold, brave, unashamed in your convictions, anything but pursed and silent lips. You have a voice, and you must now speak loud enough for them to hear, for that which has become blunted must be whetted, sharpened, readied for battle to be unsheathed at an utterance. Heed the signs and change, for our sake. You, a milksop who attentively notes the sophistry of courage, you can still be brave, and you must be.

For one day you will be swelled with a courage and fortitude to fill your sails taut, enough to leave this place, forget these people and bear you away.

you make me
laugh untill i cry
smile untill i hurt
freeze in my place
stutter when i talk
blush when i fine
trip when i walk
gaze untill im told
dream untill i cant hold you
i wake up in a dash &
run out of the door
when i see you in the hallway
you alway say hi
i was never even wondering
untill a rumer started one day
they told me it would happen
i had not a clue
untill i walked through that door one day
stopped and stared at you
you smiled and said to me
jessica i love you
would you be my girlfriend
because i think your mighty fine
i think your amazing
every day and every night
i looked around and saw everyone staring
from football players to cheerleaders
and even the little league
i couldnt saw i word but my smile said it all
i was stunned as he walked toward me and i thought
lips to lips
arms to arms
bob and weave
this is what i dreamed for
everyday amd every night
i got not what i hoped for but much much more
i still love him
i will see him one day
when god opens my door.

I am my mother's daughter,
counting coins, making piles
of nickels and dimes
we think in green, adorned
paper. Made out of trees
whose roots are planted into
our hearts, as crucial
as the valves, veins
and arteries of our ancestors.
I do not remember ever
shedding a single leave,
yet autumn comes to us
all, diseased and old,
young and healthy,
we are two ends of a
spectrum that collapses
at the sheer mass of
miracles it births,
Oak, silver birch, willow
ash... we are two women,
making ends meet, feeding
our men before ourselves.
We do not feel the weight
of wealth, saving every cent,
but our hearts are full and
their strings can be pulled
as tightly as our purses

Thorns give us scratches,
But not all can take insults,
With delicate skin.

To the one who knows me so,
I thank you now so you may know.
Even though we are miles apart,
You have come to heal my heart.
You know me, you feel me, you see within,
Forgive me my love for all my sins.
For I have wronged you, I can see it now,
I should've married you without asking how.
In times of turmoil, you dried my tears,
You removed my sorrow, you removed my fears.
Do you know what you do to me?
How could I ever make you see?
The time has come my love, and I cry to say,
That it is now that this dream must go away.
I know not what is in store to be seen,
To you I go saying thank you for loving me.

Yin, my queen, was undiscovered.
Instead of royalty, a mother.
Lately she begins to smother.
Enticing me to yet another.

Yang, my king, he has no face.
But fullness in disfigured grace.
Charred instead by lapping waves.
Ideas wadded, thrown to graves.

Terrorist, chauvinist, make a list, burn it.
Hear a plea, guarantee, feel so free, turn it.

In this moment Im confused
Happy, sad, amused
Finding happiness where I go
Still I cry so
Holding on little to this world
Somewhere before my mothers womb

I have learned that life is not to expect
But to only watch, and feel true respect
For those who come, even briefly to me
No matter the time that I'll allow them to be
Look to them with love, and always with heart
'Cause, time will tell true how far we will part

I hope and I pray, that my strength will unfold
Through trials, and tests, when the truth will be told
I look to the heavens, and hope I will see
That no matter what happens, that I will always love me
For that is what's truth, to know who you are
That love begins here, not there nor far

The lessons I've learned I know continue
Each moment passes, with all that comes through
Don't worry for me, I am made of hard steel
Though you see someone weak, as my heart doth reel
Just allow me my grief, my laughter deceitful
My attempt to survive this world that proves cruel

Don't judge me on this, these words that so flow
I'm not who I seem, this me I don't know
I try to believe with this weight in my heart
And try to forget the reason we'd part
Don't judge me with words that only brings pain
For I try with my might, so I may live life again

The moment I write these words that come through
I only seek to find reason, and learn what is true
Sometimes I will fail, like this time I feel lost
So cold this chill as if I have turned into frost
Allow me this time, so I can heal this pain
No comfort, nor words, so I ask you refrain

Do not try to change me, for I see will not be
To become this person, that I wanted to see
To stand strong and become the guiding light
For those who have fallen, I've tried to do right
But now I see that the one need to heal
Is me, the one, that has never shown real

How wrong I have been to seek outside
To show them my heart, what is broken inside
Tis only me that can heal my pain
Forgive me, my friends, I've fallen again
No wish I have to be such a burden
I will no longer ask, for this I am certain

Thank you all, you have shown me how
To be a good person, though my turn is now
To be the one that can only break free
From bonds that have choked I so clearly see
I beg you, no anger, this is my way
My sins have been deep, now my time to pay

These birds, why do they take off and fly?
Do they not know that there is no sky?
Do they not know there's no ground on to land?
Do they not know that the world's not so grand?

Do they not know that the wind doesn't blow,
That their unborn offspring shall never grow?
These doves, why do they take off and fly
When it's obvious that the world will soon die?