Not in the grave
So why did you pray?
You said you were waiting for that rainy day
I noticed a few days with sun
That burnt meanly worse than the wetness of rain

Fluid through the song
Every move clean to the beat
You know how tough some beats can be
But you never stopped
The stamping of your dancing feet

Kings laugh underneath their heavy golden crowns
I see the jester never shows a frown
The Queen wore that wedding gown
She now feels as the Jester
Her crown feels like the bell
Just bangs less loud

You got the skin for touching

Touch mine

And let me know I am still right here

I figure sometimes my hearts not on

But you get to moving

You get to doing what

I needed from the start



Sun is meant

For burning

Im burnt

Beautiful


Let me know you

Cloth barely existing

Why exist

When you got the skin

For moving



Praise something

Sweat comes out your glands

Your glands are on mine


Let me know you

Let me feel everything

Heaven is within

Be my blessing

I was blessed

Must be

Heaven Sent




Find your beauty

Find it in every move

You make tonight

Beautiful

I got no disciples

We were made to

Disappear

After all

So disappear

With no harm.



We got that magnified

Bliss

When your body is in my hands.

I seldom can breath slowly
I seldom know I am right
But being wrong has become a habit
I no longer fight
It's been a long life
I remember faces
So many minutes
So many deeds
To touch again all the skins now
To go through the regrets again
Coming up short
Was beautiful
If you knew my failures
You would see beautiful
If you knew my hate
You would know whats unusual
If you knew my love
You would be me
I look back now
As if my hair was gray and
Gone
And the echoes
They shatter me
And the past now
Seems
Gone
Let me see one moment again
I blurred so much
But it can't be all wrong

The drugs are kicking in
So is my second wind
Work was such a shame
My blistered hands touch the bar
She looks at me from across the water
Sauce tossed and full of lip gloss
Making my heart warmer than sweat dripping from a convict's head
I go outside to have a smoke
She followed me but I didn't know
She said hello and may I have a smoke
One **** and she was far from a choke
Inhaling deep as if she was about to go
But she was mine
And this I know
She left in my car
We zig zagged
Into the home
We binded for long
Grant me this moment
It's better than the drugs I know

Sleepless with desire
On fire in my head
Sad what transpires
Too many hearts left unfed
She had such pretty eyes
But they were told too many lies

I went down that same old street
It was dark and raining
But I kept a steady pace
It's nice sometimes to let that rain
Touch your face
A face which has told some lies
Whatever gets you by

Now the world spins as it should
Deep within the infinite
In the grand scheme we are tiny things
But we're living like we're everything
Living a big fat lie
I think the truth is kind of nice.
The type of gospel to make you always try and roll the dice.

Don't touch me when I am cold
The warmth forever not as bold
I found my horizon on her shores
She let's me travel no more
Don't you know my unspoken love?
Kissed your lips so you would know

Hit the top
So you remember the bottom's floors
Baby doesn't know my frozen body
I freeze for her
Cause she not here to melt me up

Guide me through this tomb
Arms which carried veins
Veins carry blood
Wheres your blood for me?
I would bleed for you

I know I'll never be wealthy

I never wanted paper

Kind of wanted that cape

Or the privilege behind a cape

Tame I wasn't

But I am now

So i'm not me

But who was I anyway?

I was a fool.

Thought I could be charming

But charming doesn't

Put the rock on the band

Just put's a band on the finger

With nothing to follow

And you know

That's a road most travel alone.

I saw it
Those eyes made me shudder
I know what you're thinking
But it was genuine
Emotion like no other
Playing on the ledge
Dancing on it with
The tip of my toes
Through the twirling
Never once did I look down
If I had maybe I would fall
Laughing away
But you know
How you remember feelings
When their that certain type of cold
That cold I know
When the sweetest skin I touched
Didn't want to touch mine anymore.

Saw an old man
Working at CVS
I bet his bones ache
I know the sight of the man
Made my heart break
Saw a kid on the way home
Sitting alone
He had a nose leaking blood
And arms crossed
Not to let anyone in
Cause I bet he was scared that **** would happen again
Got home turned on the telly
Two sides going at it quite heavy
But neither stand for me
They never did stand for me.
Wife comes home her feet
Are beaten up the shifts
Are piling up
I feel wild in love
Bite through barbed wire for those I love
But it's not enough
Empathy
I watch those around me
Pushed down
But they get up
If my cups full
I'd give half to you
Enjoy that half
Its not a gift
It's what you're supposed to do.

Don't touch those unless your fit for burning
Little burn turns to a little learning
Screams so loud they
Shatter the top of this glass roof
The shards do as they do
They cut through the skin
Time is nothing when the flame
Turns on you
A minute
A second
They rush around
Twisting my head
Like a tangled up night gown
Freudian slip
Through the thick sound
What can you do with the flame?

What is your output?

Know not names, names have no purpose

That line is crooked

Treat it like the rest just ignore

Where is your heartbeat?

It raises and falls by your wallets weight


Hope is a weapon

Hope is the little sunlight through the thickest fog

I wanted nothing

That could be bought, I wanted something a little warm

loathing & empty
sending me through this spiral
Going where I wish not to know

Let me be nothing

I'd rather not exist than be the ragged one with the polluted soul

I like hell

It seems kind of fine

You do some bad

And you run a little and fry

I would burn with a sick little smile

Hanging

As my skins melting

My bones would find another

Melt together the two glued

Hell

Is pretty bad

But I think I could get used to it

I'd get as comfortable

As one can

In the river of fire

In the demise of the rotten man

I heard he sang a song
One that would resonate
Fill our empty minds
With a little cheer
And I heard he was 10 feet tall
With thighs like dense boulders
Type of man
God himself would fear
Slowly the words
Became the truth
But they don't know
Who I knew
He was my father
But I wasn't his son
He used to make me feel
As a child like a man
He held me in his rough arms
and in that moment I found out
It didn't take blood to be a kin
But they still tell tales
Of the things he did
Who he did them for
And who he was
And the little that was said

When I found him he was
So close to gone
Hardly could chew the food I gave him
He was huddled in a corner
A blanket over his banging head
A man who I believed could trample
A stampede of Bulls
Let alone men.
But he was suffering and cold
They left that out in the stories
And the bottle beat his body
As well as his mind
And left him
But it was him
Still hard to comprehend
But I held him in my arms
Like he did for me
When I was young
I hope he's proud of the man I am
The man is gone
But he still wanders and hides
In the shadowed corners of my mind

Canvases lay in front of skilled hands
But still remain empty
Guns in hands of nervous man
Unfilled on the enemy
I heard there are seven sins
All of which remain friends to me
Nostalgia
Don't tell me what you did daddy
Tell me what you're going to do
I sit with my sick head
With an ill point of view
Crosshair on my chest
The trigger is yours to pull
Lets go to school
The world isn't ours to rule
It was ours to give
Lets go to school
The role models and teachers
Aren't getting paid enough
Always thought making potential
Fulfilled was good enough
But they aren't keeping up
Our mixed cycle is catching up
Stay in school
Behave and follow rules

I'm lit up
More than they know
A little pick me up
When I get too low
Sweetly in my head
I feel the rushing once again
Some of us aren't kings
Are thrones we make on our own
So maybe it's a fall
Or maybe I feel small
But somethings make you never feel alone
You waste away
Like some know
I know you bare
But better clothed
They smell the burn
The burn that you love and loath
I've learned to love more than loath
And shades of gray on this sunny day
Brace for what you dont know

Dark overcast
Tumble me into a thousand shreds
***** dancer
Dance during the wild storm
Casual disaster
Burn my throne
Miss laughter
Slice my throat
Til i'm no more

Rough awakening
I need a little more scratching
Against my skin
Let me be whole
Let me know what it means
To have blood in my veins
And finally see it as the gift it is

I feel the river
Flow
Going down
To a place
I would rather
Not be sent to
Anymore

Building jumper
Tell us about your final splash
And offer us those drowning
Tell us about the water
That filled your lungs making
You no more
Make me whole
Fill my soul
Touch my body
Make me feel like someone

Senselessly they tend to make noise
Don't listen now
It's just to fill the void which was never around
And hear them all they dance away
Dance to your sound
Thrive on the day
I found love in a voice
So sweet memory is extinct
Like we will be one day

I feel a thousand pin ******
With each non conviction
Sinning is the only true way
I found living was living

The dos and donts
And nothing in between
Know your place in line
Say your piece
And be muted like swine

I felt such beauty in the skin
It took me to somewhere I finally
Found my ventilation

Screaming out useless sounds
Paint your face so your pretty now
Do you finally feel like a person?
I'm sure you could get down
To something which leads you a little less
But when you find the rhythm you feel so much more

You were the last redemption
So young
But your touch made me
Know that breath
Was something I was missing
No respect for skin
But it's the finest drug on the market
Touch me a little more
Know I want it all this time
No turning back the time

He shows eloquence in his side step
So close to the touch of death
Yet still breathes in soft breaths
Mine were quick as I grabbed
My stomach sick
Little boys turn to men
Better when they see
The world as it is
I was told
Cold
Nothing says the elderly tongue
Looking for reaction from the younger one
The boy saw
Colors blended by deep holes
Lifting red over
The muscled body torn
Thick legs plan another
Foolish attack
Trickery over the bold
My eyes were wide
As it fell not with grace
Pulled by its legs with rope
To remove from the show
Felt a feeling I did not know
I knew I would one day
Know.
Death
No satisfaction does it know
Pat on the shoulder
From a hand
I might have seen as cold
To this day I still don't know

I got shoes
Two
I move
It's true
Got to get close to you
Enjoy my attitude

I got blues
Two
I take one swallow
And I'm in paradise
Are you of man
Or mice?

This world is
Crude
But it can be paradise
Depending where you climb
I just don't want to
Fall this time

Bargains are scams
To a street wise mind
Take your punishments
With each roll of the hand
Air in your lungs
And you're able to stand
But are you alright?

He's got his penny sleeves
She's got her wine
Lookin at the pretty leaves
Wasting their lives
People keep repeating your only young
One time

Fickle little puddle
Sometimes large sometimes small
Sometimes youre not there at all
Deep in the middle maybe there's still a drop
Is it still a puddle or
Is it not enough
My glass half full
Or am I just a putz
You need the water
If it's to be a pool
But a puddle itself
Has no importance in depth
The only importance is how
Much water is left.

Ceased and departed
Apart I won't grow
They say the process is slow
But I wont let go
Not this time
I wont
Let go
I wont
Let go
I wont let it take so slow
It's too slow
No patience
I'm a dull boy
Completely alone

Find me a fixer
Quicker
And slicker
I find my slide
Is gracious
It was a good time
When you find
Solace in the dirt
And taste what is real
And find
Your one of its kind
Real nice
I let go
But this time
Not so slow

Walking underneath the ***** sun
We belong to no one
Yet together we feel as one

The grass is our warming bed
We see no beginning
Though we have certain ends

We are friends
We are lovers
We are starving

Hit that high point
Warm me up
You know my soul
And I know yours
Like none I've ever known

Now it comes down
But we make up
We know how to rise
Our love
Is forever long
See the triumph
We've traveled over
So many foreign roads
Your legs
And my eyes
Our arms
Are one
And this is something
We shall forever know

My hands aren't touching yours
And the fact that that's a fact
Is bothering me
I ask intently in my mind
Could you bother me?

Thoughts and angles for your attention
I'm clawing at desperately at desperation
But you pass by
And I'm the cliche
Guy who didn't try

Just cause you can walk through clouds
Doesn't mean that they don't exist at all
Like happy families and chivalry
Where you been means not much to me
Cause where your going is where I want to be.

Built up too much
Your not ready yet
One day you'll turn
From teacher's pet
To teacher.

The rain to the storm
The hand of a strong man
And a woman's lovely thighs
Sitting alone
With my little mind
Committed to the grind
Of a simple type of life
The bus will be here in five
Aluminum under my ****
Cold and not too dry
A little water doesn't
Get my eye
To blink one time
Eyes drift off
Not one thing they find
Some thoughts in mind
What is love?
Oh my
The old question
Answered without words
Cause words are not enough
To describe
But my mind
Howls all the time
At love's moonlight
Cause nothing is a fine
False love is a missed crime
Bus should be here soon
Be alert don't let it pass by
It always comes at nine
Haven't missed it
For a long time
Drift off again in my mind
Certain ones can be cold
Others would like warm arms to hold
Pity for the theif
Crippled for his sins
Sitting on the bench
Only difference between him and me
Is no one did see
My deeds
Which were not so sweet
Not so kind
Rude type
When hunger was all that was on my mind
The bus did arrive at nine
At the time
But I was not there to abide
Sitting at the bus stop
Now i'm always on time.

Machine guns shooting away
Got your diamonds
With your glamorous escapes
I was driving on the old freeway
More potholes
I have very few escapes
I'll play the same old same
9 to 5 type, i was born to obey
I want to be the type
Type who can say no
Type who can have a true friend and foe
But I've been saying thank you
for way too long
Sitting all alone

I do some drugs from time to time
Makes me happy
Makes my life feel like a life
I heard people marching for some rights
But I just closed my eyes
Another short night
She had thighs thick and lovely
I thought to myself
I'd pay just to touch them
Inhale, snort, and sit tight
The lonely type

I remember her body
She was 5 foot 9
Long legged and lost in her own things
First things first whats love to me?
I'm feeling battled hardened
Before the battle begins
I sit in question of all my sins
Once needed help so
I needed to make myself my friend
People used to travel to better places
For opportunity
They found homes
Made life
Then got old
We're getting cold
But we see no snow
Cell phones replacing your mind
Finding yourself
Is becoming once upon a time
I search daily
Cause once I find myself
I'll feel fine
With how I come across
To everyone else
Are you lost yourself?
I think we need some help
But they don't sell this on shelves.
Something you need to do yourself.

Delicate angel
I was sedated
Seems my schedules always waiting
For a single addition
But a constant addiction
To a fickle position
Has me swinging but missing
I looked the pitcher in the eyes
He went through the pitching routine
And threw a ball so fast I thought I was blind
But at the last second it caught the corner of my eye
And I swung and I surmised  
After I hit for that very first time
That it was time to get to hitting
I've been swinging
Sometimes hitting
Sometimes missing

I cross bridges when it rains
Simple things
Sketched deep within my brain
It's a little bit insane
But those rain drops fall
I'm on one side
By the time I reach the other
I will be much more wet
But it's about the inside
Best bet entrenched
With a new state of mind
You look right over the water
We're the sons and daughters
Of what we walk on
Limousines passing me
Taxis and tragedies
See no one remembers what its like to live
Under their own direction
We all have the right to swim
Don't forget your right to swim
Feel the water touching your skin
They can mess with your mind
Once they get too deep entwined
It's time to swim

More passion than a man laughing
After the whip's 100th lashing
I feel quick sand coming thick
Add the caption
First you see me but then i'm gone quick
Learned lessons the old teach
The ones who share blood.
I had none
So I had to spill blood.
Focus even when tying my shoes
Only have one life
One trip and there you lose
Coughing out demented thoughts
Attempted plots like a twister
Once your too far in
Then you spin
And now you're gone.

Cold inside
I want to fly
You know so many names
But what do their lips say
When you climb mountains ?

Haunted by the sounds
Of certain melodies
I got to touch the skin
Where do we begin ?
Lost in this endless forest

Destroying my mind
One fun at a time
Two and i'm signaling
This might be the end
Of the line

When its your turn
Will you be eager
Or will you feel terror?
These are the questions
You will have answered.

Say what makes you feel ashamed.

I can't say I feel the same...

It's just skin after all

Your skin is bliss to us all

I know my doubts

Do you feel the shame ?

Seeping into your head

Regret is a mess

Made up by the men

Who make up monsters

Underneath your bed.

Dont you know?

The glow?

Feel it as it gets so bold.

I felt it take my head

Outside the norm


Is your mother a saint?

Is your father finding faith?

I found nothing

Good to die for

Till you looked in my eyes

I need mistakes

I make them almost everyday

But some stains

Stain perfect into every grain

Be the angel in my head.

That takes me from my everyday

In every way

I swear to my name

I'll be the one who tames

That lion roaring in your head.

Lord you made it so hard

Do you know my troubles with god

Justify why you made it so hard

Then I will tell you why I have troubles

With you that make it so hard

Took them too young

Will you take me young?

Smile on my face with

No air in my lungs

I saw the last breath

Come out their lungs

In their veins flowed my same blood

Wonder why I have trouble with god?

See those who carry my blood

Do you know god?

I know god

Took those I want in my arms

But there are still are those I wish no harm

God my troubles are strong

But without you all I have

Is no meaning to fallen

What I would do to hold you in my arms?

I would go too far

Close my eyes so hard

Till I feel you in my arms

Please god

Let her one day be in my arms.

I prayed I'd never get old

My heart had grown cold

Life's disappointment's I found beautiful

Instead of taking the fold

I rather would grow

Deep within as a man

For when I was young

No man was there to take my hand

So with each fall

Came a quicker rise

I found with surprise

After some falls comes success

But the breaths in my chest

They never settle

Cause I'm always prepared for the fall.

I've learned the most delicate ways to land.

Know
You'll never know
Wear
Wear a cloak
Hide
From the what you truly are
Scarred
That's why you don't need
The honey on the spoon
No umbrella for rain
Pour it on me
The water represents
Every missed swing
Tragedy wasn't a chapter
It was every word on the page
But once you took center stage
The play turned from sorrow
To a lovely display

Redemption is a hand I won't take
Rather slide myself down to a grave
She said I always knew the perfect words to say
The last thing I said
Was we'd never be the same
I was hungry for the story to finally change
So I headed south the very next day
I enjoyed the sun
Washing me of my burdens
I enjoyed the sun
For what it was
Warm my skin
My own voice is an endearing friend
I will live a little different
No more today seeming like the end

Simple day

I lay within my haze

Far away from civil way I wave estranged from my mental gutter

My mind laughs at the distance I have made between us

Twinkles toes

You know the do's and dont's.

I dont, I ask as I look in the mirror you does it show?

Shifted minds

We play within the grind

Make a dollar through sin and feel some sweet skin.

But shrewd thoughts you thought you had a plot but it fell through the cracks

Remember though we're all long far gone

We all try to go

Where to?

No one knows

We all climb

But what do we find?

Some emptiness and a nice behind

Were all long gone

Lost within the heart

Content I would fold my fingers

The wrong way everyday to have you decrease this fever

Water your soil multiple times a day

Just to see your growth

Content you are a foe i'll never know

Sickened my stomach aches for a little easing

I feel ripples deep within my mental seasons

Reaping thoughts of transparent waters

Never a man to put an image

To the word's of a lovely author

Just one to be constantly bothered

By the son of my own Father

My mutters sputter my head to collapse

Never falls just jostles like a train

Almost, But never completely

Falling off the tracks

You hum when you're alone

Does a ghost walk beside you?

Or is the darkness not behind you?

What is it to walk alone?

Your mind can simply guide you.

Or is it sadly hide proof ?


Belt out all your pain

Some paint some would sing a song of frustrating pain

The venting's all the same

Except for you.

You vented a little different didnt you?

You are definitive you have name
what is it?

Can you say it ?

The vines will bind to what they find

Did your vines go a little too far this time?

Left yourself behind

You are you

As I am me

Complete with two feet

You never saw it that way

Your mind a gentle plague

Spreading only within the blood that once flowed through your veins

You are you

But not anymore

Sorry i wish I'd done more

I got long lists
Of those I adore
I saw a beautiful monument
Inside my bedroom floor
See I have seen disaster
She's dressed like a queen for once
My father's lonely *******
I close my eyes
And only see shores

Let get a bit creative
Send all our troops ahead
We heard the enemies flanking
Shouting loud
Off with his head!
I know of temptation
She tastes bitter
But is so quick to warm
I found my purpose
Once you saw them coming
But still held my hand real firm

We play the living
Breathing ghosts clawing at our skin
Unbeknownst whether it's cold or warm
Acknowledge your oxygen
We made it to the ships though
Set sails and never
Glanced once at the departed shores
Wherever we land
Will be fine
Together to us is home