When i think back to the day I met you, my heart explodes.
I am both the happiest person in the world, because I hugged you, and the saddest because it's been so long.
In class, I can't focus because the memory of your smile keeps coming back to me.
In my head, it never gets quiet anymore because my mind keeps replaying the sound of your chuckle, and those words I've been longing to hear.
No hug will ever feel
as warm
and safe
and happy anymore,
because no one's arms fit me like yours.
You are constantly on repeat in my mind;
your laugh, your smile, your words, your arms, your smell...

I miss you so much, my heart cannot take it anymore.
And I cannot help but wonder,
how you can be the worst thing that's ever happened to my heart when you're the best that's ever happened to me.

i denied being depressed
because i thought maybe telling myself that
would decrease the chances of it being true
but i now realize that denying your feelings for something
only makes them stronger
and because of this
i love you more
i hate the world around me
the environment i once thought was so beautiful
has now painted a monstrous image in my head
of what truly lies in this place
full of danger and lies and people who say they care about you
but actually don't
i have abandoned the memories
that linger in my mind
but no longer have meaning
i just need a new place to start everything over
i have come to the conclusion
that i have reached my breaking point

*a