More than a text message
More than three letters
simple punctuation
More than just t h a t
      it’s a distress call
(check the subtext,
it's a secret)
“hey”

translates
• so many
• different
• ways
a craigslist add for company
but less desperate/public/subtle
and more needy
hey is I’m dying
hey is I love you
h e y  is   I     don’t     know     how
                                                             ­          to go on anymore and

                                                           ­                                    I need you and
                                                             ­                                           please
                                                          ­                                please
                          ­                                                   please

don’t forget me because I need someone to remember

I don’t know how to say
What to talk
I want to die so much
Communication just
Doesn’t
Cut
It
So    
      I
            cut
                this
                 flesh
                                                  ­         instead
But blood is thinner than the pain that lives in my bones
And though I’ve only just begun to shed my life
I feel more empty then before
Empty and cold
Empty and vacuous
There’s a galaxy in me, a universe
I can’t feel it, I know it’s there
    But
Everything
               Is
    Still

              and empty
                   and pitch
                               B
                                       L
                                           A
                                             C
                                               K

And even when there’s a whole universe of stars inside me,
the light is hidden by the shadow of a
heavy,                empty                 darkness.
And I cannot conquer, so to the shadow I succumb.

Is she there?
As I brace myself in front of you
Your eyes wander to her
(by my side)
Or is it behind me
over my shoulder
Always there she is.
I cannot compete with your memory
Of the way she felt
(When) she came
before me
I feel her there when you touch me
Do you sleep back to me
Because she is on your other side
(Though you are still sleeping next to me)
Is it really me you're kissing?
Or is it the shadow of her face
Her smooth/soft/warm lips/hair/eyes
I know now that you are never alone.
Is she there?

My pendulum heart
back and forth
left         right         left         right
   *    beat          beat          beat*
in rhythm with your footsteps
Any faster and we'd whirl out of time.

Flying round the room
             untethered
d i s c o n n e c t e d
but to eachother.
What a strange dance.

My heart is a bird
trapped in my ribCage.
The wings have been clipped.

it does not live
for the beating of another
bird's wings or sing for
your heart next door.

It does not stop for the wind,
to hear the world sleep
or move life through my arteries
the way it once could.

My body is the cage
that holds a bird
painted to be a heart.

But when the bird is gone,
a body no longer has purpose.
(A cage in need of prisoner)

Tho even in freedom,
the bird cannot fly.
Her wings have been clipped.

i am
scared of so many thinks
                        and things
     and the thoughts i think
and myself
because If I misplace
one thin(k)g
I
     might
                   lose
I(myself)T

for no apparent reason
except
that i have no reason
and i have no reasonnotto.

sometimes
itfeelslikemylifeisasentencewithnospacean­dcutsho

How oft
        are thoughts
        (of mine) of you?

I confess,
         once with every breath
         but twice for every whisper

Your image fills my head
          consequentially, my days.
          All eyes are yours.

I want every path to be paved in cobblestone
in hopes that i will find your bare feet there.

When my thoughts stray
it is to you and
where i will stray
(with you)

Once sleep comes
I know I dream (of you)
and you are with me
when you aren't near me.