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Instead of speaking up,
I usually speak down
Unless I get excited and
I share ideas like a clown

With my arms flailing
Physically because I’m enthused
And metaphorically grasping
For someone else to not lose

More interest in me
Even though I deviate a lot
From the societal norms
That confine many in a little box

**** that little box
People talk a lot without sharing
But I’m the key to the lock
So I’m freaking out without caring

Until I turn the lights out
And my phone buzzes for Candy Crush
But there’s nobody’s messages on that list
Because I didn’t barter love

The products I offer
Are insufficient for my needs
So obviously I need some lessons
On how to calm down; smoke ****,

Don’t read books, don’t
Develop imagination
Watch tv, scroll Facebook,
Be patient and wait for your whole life

For something around the corner
Until you’re waiting and your impulses
Drive you into lonely streets
Lamenting your losses

Looking for stimulation
Constantly checking the phone
Until I stop and look around
I’m lost, I don’t know how I’ve grown
  Dec 2023 Anielka Manzanarez
Nicole
Son las 2:05 de la madrugada,
la afonía siendo parte de mi habitación,
conjugando el calor.
Me encuentro encerrada en 4 paredes,
deseando estar a la orilla del bravío mar,
que su volumen aumenta con la serenidad,
dándole compañía a una desolada noche.
O en el tope de una montaña,
contemplando los astros que se adueñan
de ese infinito espacio.
Mientras tanto, permanezco estable,
con una mano ocupada por una taza
y la otra redactando palabras
que se quedarán en la nada .
De madrugada, sin poder dormir, queriendo salir de aquí.
He was sweet...
In a buy all the things I know you like...
Because you are spending the weekend...
Have a restaurant run
Because you love eating out...
Invite you over, like every weekend
Spend Christmas together....
Introduce you to all his friends..
Insinuate that he wants to have ***…..
type of way…..

But he never asked...
Not to be his girlfriend
Not to date him
Not to sleep with him...
He never asked, so I never let him.
These are little pieces
in the real world
fragments that
have become undone
if you reach to touch them
they will disappear
like smoke upon touch
the little pieces
that today
seem so much
  Dec 2023 Anielka Manzanarez
Unnamed
Wherever you are.
Wherever you live.
Whatever the circumstances.
Those three words will comfort you.

However you live.
However you look.
Whatever the life you live.
Those three words will come with you.

Whatever you've done.
Whatever you regret.
Whatever everyone says.
Those three words will keep you alive.
  Dec 2023 Anielka Manzanarez
JRF
I Write

I write it down.
Somewhat poetically.
Spill my guts.
Somewhat poetically.
And then I read it later and I’m promptly ashamed
to read the truth of it all
so then I delete it and
go about my day
And then night comes and I look for it but I got rid of it so I write it again.
And the cycle continues.
Emote
Delete
So I don’t have to absorb it
and live the truth
or deal with the  things
that are eating me
from the inside out.
I guess that’s just the way it is.
I guess
that’s  poetry, baby.
for

    once,

   i would

love

      to be

         the poem

and

     not

         the poet
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