do you remember how
we got here? that
map we followed?
i think we found
uncharted territory.
this place is
undocumented ocean,
it's distant roads
to nowhere,
marked by
signs that
say things like
no trespass
and
this is where your heart breaks.

we promised.
and we meant it,
at the time.

you said
i'm sure.
you say,
never leave me,
but i wait.
i wait for the day
that it's me
watching you
turn around.

it's me, left with
this faulty map,
because you took
the real one,
and i'm stuck
staring at the space
that says
here is where
i thought you'd always
love me

and the one a few
yards away that says
*i knew you never could.

Based on my history, based on my past.
I haven't been the best for you.
And it's been years since I've seen you.
Years since I've heard your voice.

You of all should know I'm not enough.
And I'm done crying over you.
Wasting sleep over us.

My friend got to see you
Just not too long ago.
Told me
Your not as handsome
And amazing
As I said.

I stared at her
A million reasons
Why you where all those things
And more
Shot through my brain.
But all I could say is.
"I love him"

How can I tell her
That I see the stars in your eyes
And they keep me in place when I feel as though I may fall?

How can I possibly explain
The feeling of delight I feel hearing your voice
The pull on my heart I feel
Seeing your face.

How can I say
"He's my best friend"
When you're so much more.

If I said
"he's my reason for breathing,
For getting up in the morning
For not giving up.
He's my everything."
It'd be the truth
But very little of it.

There's so much I wanna say.
Many are just fragments I can't fit together just yet.
But I like the feeling of speechlessness
You've given me.

Till then just know.
My friend thinks you're ugly
But to me your everything but.