Socializing is like driving
Some go a lifetime without learning how to do it

time is a funny thing.
i've convinced myself that the life i'm living right now,
will barely matter in the next 10 years.
every small setback i ever face,
is merely a small blip in this universe of my worries.

there is a quote that i once heard half a million lifetimes ago that i think about almost every day.
it says, "every time you think what you're facing will be the end of the world, stop and think to yourself for a moment, in five years, will this matter?"
and i would like to say that i live by this quote,
and i do,
but sometimes,
life will get to me.
sometimes a missing homework assignment will feel like the end of the world.
sometimes my audition feels like it will be the end of me.
sometimes the tiniest, or seemingly biggest, obstacles seem like an impossible block in my life.
i know that my hours spent doing homework and trying to keep up with my schedule will be nothing.
i know that everything will get better.
i know that i will be okay.

but i simply can't believe that right now.  

- a.g.

today,
i am finally giving up the lie i hide behind.
an intricate labyrinth of webs spun by my fast fingers and rapid mouth.
i,
am a hypocrite.

my life is a series of encouraging the ones i love to the best of my ability.
doing the most i can to boost their morality,
showing them their self worth,
proving to them that they,
are amazing.
and that they,
will be okay.
but who can preach about all of these things,
when they themselves are a liar.
when they themselves can't even stand to look in the mirror
because of the disappointment they know they'll find.
when they themselves are telling other people that they are extraordinary, reminding them how much you love them,
when you don't even love yourself.
you don't even like yourself.
and the only thing keeping you down on the ground
is because you would never want to hurt the ones you love.

it's easier to tell other people all these wonderful things that you see in them
but have never seen within you.

- a.g.