Tearing me apart from my shadow
Speaking ill of the dead
Grinning when you saw the thorns
And yet a soothing light is in sight
Light that I grip and never let slip

I wasn't watching you perfectly still
I was counting the steps

I wasn't paying attention at all
Had to daydream while I could

Regrets of the unfinished future
Were delights of the sight

I still remember how it felt
How I felt in space
And will recall that moment
To draw the last smile on my face

A deja vu of the very same wishful thinking that awakens that unquenchable old desire.

The kind of thoughts that may fade for a while yet never seem to come to go away.

Always near.. Always there

I kept watching
I did nothing but tremble in fear
Yet I knew it all

How could they be so mean?, I said.
How could earth bear their existence?
Now I see myself one of those I once despised.

Is it too late.... Is it even possible..
To undo what had been done?
Maybe
But I know that falling is far easier than standing
So call it a day
Call it a year
Call it a life

That once could be a good one.

The night is long
And the devils are here
Like an old lion
Surrounded by hyenas

I gave you orchids
You gave me a snake
And told me it's fine
to drink from the cup

I gave you a locket with a picture of us
You gave me your number
but not your address
And I spent days confused and obsessed

***, what good are flowers in fall?
How do you expect me to call?
I threw away the ******
And again I crawl