I should have been writing a new poem but instead I got lost in the poetry of others . Their words compelled me to continue on .

The pain is still there
Sometimes, under the surface
It never quite completely went away
But it is fading.

Sometimes the burning itch
Reappears on the seam
Of my arms
But I tell it I do not need it

Thoughts about my weight
About my face
I cannot escape them
I can correct them

Eventually it fades  
I am trying my best

when i said “i’m fine”
what i meant was “i’m tired”
not of you, but of trying to be
the version of me you could love

when i said “take care”
what i meant was “please stay”
but goodbye is easier when
it doesn’t sound like begging

when you said “i’m sorry”
what you meant was “it’s over”
i caught the silence between your words
the way it wrapped around my throat

and now, when i say nothing
what i mean is everything
i never knew how to tell you
while you were still listening

you are not violet
you are not hands filled with morning light
you are not  tears pooled in corners of my eyes
you are not broken coastlines
you are not chipped fingernails

you are rain the soft type
that slowly eases into a catastrophic storm
and causes a typhoon that sinks entire villages
you are the type of rain that trickles into a river before it floods

8 months   in a blink of an eye
8 months   of our life gone by

8 months   of love like no other
8 months   being here for one another

1 year         getting to know your heart
1 year         never wanting to be apart

8 months   me and you together
8 months   leading us to forever

Dear Faby,

If you are reading this
I am very mad at you
You promised
You wouldn't look for me on here
I showed you some of my poetry
But all that I was willing to share
The rest is too personal
For your ears

I love you
My dear friend
But please don't continue reading
It's an invasion of my privacy

i've struggled over the weekend
I kept all my stress in
And my thoughts have finally caught up to my head
now I breakdown