i feel my thoughts and feelings clawing at the back of throat announcing their arrival. my screams and whimpers are here to cause a show for everyone. i can’t let them out. everything is okay. i am doing great. please don’t ask. don’t search for me, the truth.

I look at the moon and think of you.

it’s getting hard to see all the reasons.
i hate this.

i wish everything would stop. how do you explain to a person you hate your existence? you hate your utter being. i’m in so much pain. when will it all end? i want to let go so bad. so ******* bad. but i can’t. i’m tired of putting things on people when i am the problem. i’m the ******* problem. the only way to stop a problem is to fix it or get rid of it. i don’t want to be fixed. i don’t want to be happy. i just want to be gone. i feel so empty. so worthless. nothing.

who knew these thoughts could come so early?